The Official Nonsense Thread

[Minty]

Dunfermline went into administration today, some wondered whether they hoped to get docked 25 points for doing so (as happened to Dundee two years ago) so they'd be relegated & get two full houses against Rangers next year (same as Airdrie have been accused of "throwing" this season to get relegated). They had to close one of their main stands to save money it was getting so bad.

Unfortunately dirty dealings are pretty common in Scottish football (one of the reasons it got itself into the current mess) & players that want a career learn quickly to say nothing or head south. Our non-leagues are worse, lots of transfer deals done in supermarket car-parks with brown envelopes being exchanged!

Was in a local employment agency today & mentioned to them I'd wasted time days earlier applying for a job that it turned out had been lying on their site since November (the employer e-mailed back to say so). They argued vehemently that their site was updated frequently & that it must have been something wrong with my browser! They're that used to lying through their teeth all day to people ("it's initially temporary, but will be permanent when they get the right candidate" - oh sure Pinocchio!) they'll refuse to admit anything that looks remotely bad on them even when you're trying to help them! Rechecked tonight, their site is still not updated. Nice to see they're earning their pay.

Does anyone here watch "The Chase" at all?

[Ollie]

Nope, sorry for changing the subject so quickly but this must be said...

Who the hell is sad enough to recreate Julia Gillard in The sims 3?

[Caspin]

@ Ollie, guess you won't be downloading that particular creation then!

@ Minty, sounds like a similar situation to estate agents advertising flats that are long since rented. Either it was a good job/flat and they are reluctant to remove it, or they are incompetent, or they are bone idle, or (d) all of the above.

Woah, found a word that gets through the naughtiness filter - I'll amend it myself - bunch of fudgers!

My football team here is just finishing putting up new floodlights. It's going to be too bright for my poor old eyes! Next they're going to raise money for improved catering, because fans need pies, and try to get enough for a new stand in case we get promoted.


Have not seen The Chase. Why, do you recommend it?

[Minty]

(28-03-2013 09:34 AM)Caspin Wrote:  @ Ollie, guess you won't be downloading that particular creation then!

@ Minty, sounds like a similar situation to estate agents advertising flats that are long since rented. Either it was a good job/flat and they are reluctant to remove it, or they are incompetent, or they are bone idle, or (d) all of the above.

Woah, found a word that gets through the naughtiness filter - I'll amend it myself - bunch of fudgers!

My football team here is just finishing putting up new floodlights. It's going to be too bright for my poor old eyes! Next they're going to raise money for improved catering, because fans need pies, and try to get enough for a new stand in case we get promoted.


Have not seen The Chase. Why, do you recommend it?

I've added what I'm guessing to be the offending word (groovy funkers) into the filter. If it appears here as the one you typed above, it's worked!

Pies are a contentious subject amongst the Junior football crowd up here right now. Beith (who a very long time ago were actually a Scottish League club) one week sold a Chicken Balmoral pie because they couldn't get their usual ones & they were all that was left. They went down very well with the punters & so decided to trial them for a month. The near scenes of stampede close to half time of people desperate to get one (there never being enough) were comical, & other Junior sides got all humpty about Cabes fans boasting they'd the poshest grub in the Juniors.

Some of the neanderthals object, those for whom half-cooked pies with a slither of meat at the bottom & lukewarm Bovril is what makes for "a real working class fitba experience, like ma faither & his faither before him" (you can almost here the Hovis music!), but it looks like our non-leaguers are finally getting the message that good grub means happy fans that will come back. Gretna could have told them that years ago - their home made sausage rolls were (& still are) to die for!




"The Chase" is a quiz programme (you can see episodes in On Demand on you know where!) where four contestants are pitted against one of four master quiz champions (including one Mastermind champion from the pre-dumbed down days).

Each contestant first answers the most number of questions correctly in a minute, winning £1000 for each question right that will go into the team kitty. But in order to get through to the Final Chase & have that money put in the kitty, they have to play against the Chaser & get home without getting caught on a seven step board. They start at step five, the chaser being off board to begin with, thus you start five correct questions away from home & three from being caught by the Chaser. The questions this time are picking from three possible answers. A lot of the chases end up nail-biters with the contestant being one away from home & the Chaser being one away from catching up with them, the Chasers are VERY good!

Here's the catch: before the round starts, the Chaser will offer the contestant the opportunity to take one step closer to home for a much smaller amount of money - sometimes minus! - or to take a step further away in return for a far bigger sum of money if they get home first (anything from £35000 to £60000), the sums being in proportion to how much they won in their individual question round. If they get back, the sum is added to the team kitty. If the chaser catches up with them first, they're out & their money lost.

Come the final round, all the players left in the game have two minutes to answer as many questions as possible, which will be considered steps away from the Chaser. They will also be given one extra step for each player still in the game (so if a team gets 15 questions right & had three players left, they have 18 steps). The Chaser will next get 2 minutes to answer as many as possible - if they equal the team total, the chase is over & the players leave empty handed. There is a catch - if the Chaser gets any wrong, it is offered to the team, & if they get it right, the Chaser is pushed back a step.

It is brilliant fun to watch, seeing whether people will be greedy & take a minus to get back home because the other players before them won a lot of money (the Chasers really hate players who do this & aren't shy at letting them know it), & which ones will take the risk for the big money, with the final chase being a real nail-biter. There was one a few weeks back where an entire team bar one old fogey was eliminated, he was offered £60 000 to take a step closer. He took it, won it, & ran up a huge step total in the final chase that the Chaser was one step from catching him when time ran out.

[Caspin]

Groovy funkers works just fine.

Gosh those sausage rolls do look lovely. I want one now!

I understand that people like their traditions and so on, but if it's a case of get in some snazzier pies or have your club go under, get the bloody pies up to scratch! It's the same with people who object when their local pub starts doing nice food and goes all gastro. They might not like it but a huge number of pubs have closed during the recession.

Nope never seen that show, sounds like it might be too tense for me. I tend to get very absorbed and would find the chase very stressful!

[Ollie]

Mm man sausage rolls.
By the way some other words that get through include certain body parts.

[Ollie]

While taking my dog for a walk an elderly lady passed me. Being nice and friendly I said, "Morning." You see the problem with this is that it was passed 12 o'clock. What makes this story more intriguing is that only seconds before passing her, I told myself that it isn't morning anymore, so don't say it.

Oh and yes I never ended up telling you the story of the woman in the shopping centre did I? Better late than never.
So basically there is some salespeople in a shopping centre who try to sell some kind of skin products or something. These salespeople go even further than your usual salesperson, they offer you a certain something in return for you buying their product (coughs*xcough). My dad told me this whilst sitting near their stall in the shopping complex. Later we got up and started walking, unfortunately we had to pass them. You can probably guess what happened from there. One of their saleswomen pulled us over. I saw another salesman behind her talking to a woman who was blushing. :/ This woman began talking about the product to my dad. Soon she looked down at me and asked "Where's your mother?" (WTF "Where's your mother?" who the hell asks that kind of question? Jesus Christ!), my dad played along and answered (Don't ask me why). Soon she told my dad that she would give him a "gift." But my dad said " We really better go, blah blah blah."
How disgusting! I mean get a real job.

[Minty]

They do things different Down Under - over here the best offer you'll ever get from one of those shopping centre stalls is "first six months for free!"

[Caspin]

Ah, Ollie, I wondered what had become of the shopping centre story. I thought perhaps you had been emotionally scarred for life and couldn't bring yourself to speak of it! Sounds like they really want to make some sales on those skin care products. Either that or all the sales staff just happen to be, by chance, raging nymphos.

I do not like shopping centres, as a general rule. Too many people. I can only get through them by turning up just as they are opening (when everyone else is still in bed!) and promising myself a nice lunch at the end. I just hate shopping. Worst thing - those people (who are usually wearing more cosmetics on any given day than I will get through during my whole life) who try to assault you on your way through department stores by spraying some nasty perfume or trying to slather you with some overpriced lotion.

Well that is my rant for the day.

The office is so cold, my fingers are turning blue. Sorry, that was a little mini-rant just there.

I shall go back to being my usual cheery self once I regain feeling in my digits.

[Ollie]

Has anyone actually watched the weather channel on your sims TV? It's actually kind of funny.