The Official Nonsense Thread

[Minty]

Learn to drive the Emma Way!

Mirror - signal - ram any bloody cyclists off the road - boast about it on Twitter & post picture of your speedometer at 95 mph - get fired from cushy job & arrested - boohoo on TV in whining self-pity about how your life has been destroyed!

What gets me is the way she says everyone's judging her on one side of the story. Yeah, HERS!

This is the generation that'll be in charge when I am in my dotage. Where's that number for EXIT?

[Caspin]

When asked "why didn't you stop" she says "I did stop. I stopped and looked in my rear". Excellent. Since she seems keen of spouting sh*$ it seems reasonable that she'd look to her rear for answers.

Throw her to the hover-sharks!

[Minty]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddd another STUNNING performance by Hibernian in a Scottish Cup final as Smeltit win their one millionth trophy & their fans pretend that it means anything to them.



I am so tired tonight. The heat has sapped all my will to stay awake.

[Caspin]

Oh dear, the General Tiredness is spreading! Perhaps everyone should get an early night.

Night-night!

[Caspin]

Oooh I have been invited to someone's 70th birthday party!

Right now I look like a relative of Minty's sim - my face is all green with a crazy seaweed facepack. Hope nobody comes to the door.

Ollie, I know you are sleeping now (or should be!) but I forgot to say earlier - good luck in your exams this week!

Oh, the cheese-rolling race went ahead and ended safely. They apparently used foam versions of the wheels of cheese to improve the safety of the event!

[Minty]

Yeah, good luck in the exams Ollie!

Crystal Palace - BOOOOOOOO! Poor Watford.
Uuuuuuuuh no new Game Of Thrones tonight, getting weak, must have GOT fix

[Caspin]

You are truly addicted now aren't you. When Series 3 ends you'll be inconsolable!

Tomorrow I have cheap tickets to go and see something that might be a bit odd. It is a play based on the book 'The 39 Steps' . It might be entertaining or it might be dire. Either way, the tickets were cheap in a sale and it's a short show, so entirely survivable no matter how bad.

I'll try anything once!

[Caspin]

Well that was an interesting play last night. Just four actors did the whole thing and it was really funny. Very silly in places, with lots of rapid swapping of hats so you knew who was who, but they were so energetic and the audience was in a good mood and everyone ended up laughing. Plus I enjoyed going out for a nice cheeseburger beforehand. Good stuff.

And now it is Friday.

Very happy =

[Minty]

Two more days until the 9th episode of Game Of Thrones, the 9th in the last two series being the one all hell broke loose. Can't wait!

Oh, & thank you VERY, VERY MUCH Caspin - you know why! Too much fun!

Tomorrow is the last real day of the footie up here with the Scottish Junior Cup final (same as the FA Trophy in England, for the "non league" clubs. For the first time ever it is the two biggest non-leaguers facing one another, Auchinleck Talbot vs Linlithgow Rose. It's on BBC Alba (the gaelic channel), & hope this year it is good. Last year was a farce, Talbot were playing Shotts Bon Accord (from the second tier) & thought all they had to do was turn up. If you saw what Wigan did to Man City in the FA Cup final this year, you'll get the idea what happened - except in even more humiliating fashion.

There's some mad punter having a BBQ just up the road from us. Guaranteed downpour in the next ten minutes guaranteed.

Another for the "You couldn't make it up" list:

Mother rushed daughter to A&E… to have dog poo wiped off her shoe

A woman who took her daughter to A&E because her daughter got dog mess on her shoe has been branded as 'irresponsible'.

As Whittington Hospital, North London, struggles to cope with more admissions since the launch of the 111 non-emergency helpline, the unnamed mother was criticised for wasting doctors' time.

Councillor Martin Klute, chairman of the hospital's local scrutiny committee, said casualty staff should be able to spend their time treating people with real health issues.

It's like that old Alexie Sayle joke about the guy who phoned the council to complain that no one had come round yet to pull the chain on his toilet!

[Caspin]

Jeez, that's my local hospital. The staff there have enough horrors to deal with without kids with shitty shoes taking up space. Someone once told me that the hospital had it's own police station, I don't know if that's true but I didn't feel surprised, so you can imagine the kind of patients the staff there are already having to tackle.

And Minty, you are very welcome. Enjoy!

Enjoy your football too.