The Official Nonsense Thread

[Minty]

You bought those cougettes in Sainsburys, didn't you? Apparantly they were created so they would be easier to steam cook or stuff.

That Cocacola Mentos cartoon is brilliant. Considering the massive release of energy when you put Mentos into coke, why don't they build a Cocacola Mentos reactor plant instead of nuclear ones? A safe, cheap form of energy to power the turbines making electricity, the byproducts of which are recycleable.

Ah, you've got to the bit where Jaime's motives for killing the king & why he hates his dad & the Starks came out in the bathtub with Brianne. He had a point, especially over Ned despising him for being an "oathbreaker", even though doing so saved the lives of everyone in King's Landing, but I still despise him for trying to kill Bran twice because he caught the weirdo shagging his own sister. Oh & being the smarmiest bar steward since Michael Portillo.

Yes, no wonder Cersei wasn't happy, she won't screw anything she's not directly related to, the freak. Poor old Knight of the Pansies, as if fate hasn't dumped on him enough. Knowing his luck, he'll be getting married off to Osha next!

The guy that plays Joffrey was interviewed recently, & he said that the guy that plays Theon is the one member of the cast that's exactly like their character in real life, spending most of his time getting drunk & bedding endless women he met in pubs only hours before. He also thinks Joffrey doesn't get slapped enough on the show!

[Caspin]

Nope, greengrocer, not Sainsbury's. I thought they were a bit gimmicky but funny. Two of those and one standard courgette and you can serve up a rather rude-looking side dish. They remind me a little of those square watermelons, made that way so they don't roll off the shelf of your fridge.

I have just finished series 3. Episode 9 was a rollercoaster wasn't it. The shocks were so great that I was actually silenced. I hope that Arya turns her anger inward and seeks mighty vengeance. I think I need to lie down.

[Minty]

Bear in mind much of what I am about to say is speculation on my part, no spoilers are contained within. I know some of what lies ahead, but I'm avoiding touching that for obvious reasons!

I'd a feeling Filch The Squib was going to do the dirty, although technically he'd every right to screw over the Starks the way they'd screwed over him, just not in the way he did it - about the worst possible chivalric crime in the book to do that to guests & means his entire family's word will never be trusted again, although the way all of them in Westeros are merrily iconoclausting for short term gain it's going to be a miracle if anyone trusts anyone else by the time it's all over.

The Lannisters are also pretty f**ked in the long term, although Tywin's too rash to realise it - on top of betraying the old king at the first siege of King's Landing (they were meant to defend it from the Starks and Baratheons - instead they let them in) & Jaime as head of the King's Guard actually killing the mad king, they're certain to get the main blame for the Red Wedding as no one would credit the Freys with having the courage to do it without big friends in the wings. People will now see them as exterminating all the major houses one by one (first the Targarians, now the Starks, and their signature song boasts of the Lannisters exterminating the Raynes, once the second richest house of Westeros) in order to take over all the lands of Westeros, not merely content to take the throne.

In the earlier episodes you pick up from the others that Frey's regarded as a joke by other nobles despite holding such a strategically important castle - too busy being a randy old git than looking after his family's interests (the running joke in the books being he's the only man in Westeros that could raise an army solely from his breeches). Frey's side of the argument is he's desperate to keep what they have & is terrified that the Starks, Boltons, Tullys & Lannisters are always looking for excuses to try nicking it - the main fear being the Frey's will lose it to the one of the four which attacks them last after they've beaten off the other three. He's been wed several times (outliving wife after wife as they all end up dying after one childbirth too many) & those four houses are the only ones that kept finding excuses never to so much as send a representative to any of the last few. To Frey it's a calculated slight on his house, in reality it's a calculated slight on him (I think Catelyn Stark says something about how he gives everyone the creeps!)

Frey acted as he did to get the message over his family weren't pushovers, but in the longterm he may have secured their doom. The Red Wedding occured at the moment the Freys fell under the overlordship of Littlefinger (as the new owner of Harrenhal) which means they now have to worry at some stage he'll use that as a pretext to wipe out the Freys one way or another so he can grab their lands and property (especially the all important The Twins) for himself. At least the Starks & Tullys were honest, even if they did think the Freys a joke. But with Baelish & the Lannisters as your "allies", who needs enemies?

The one person that really benefits from what happened I think is Stannis. Until the Red Wedding, he was finished. But after this, plenty more will start sympathising with the Brotherhood Without Banners, whose main base is in the Riverlands - Tully and Frey country. The BWB are loyal to no noble, only by by faith to Stannis' concubine, the loony Red Priestess, & with much of the Riverlands owned by the ordinary people ruined by the war, the BWB could be the right faction in the right place at the right time.

As for Arya, if she wasn't already pretty pissed before, she's REALLY pissed now (& like everyone else she thinks she & her sister are the only Starks left alive). However, be prepared for surprises as to what she'll do about getting her revenge.

Oh, there is also one last major twist to the aftermath of the Red Wedding, but you will have to wait for the last episodes of series four for it to happen. Don't even bother trying to guess it, you never will! When I read it in the books, I was like WHAAAAAAAAA!

On the subject of veg, they should cultivate square vegetables that utilise the space in the fridge better.

[Caspin]

Bloody hell, Minty, have you been holding all that in for a year!

I was very annoyed when Rob married that mock-nurse lady. I just sat there thinking "what about the bridge".... "the bridge you already agreed to pay for".... the "bridge you already crossed". Pay your dues for the fudging bridge, you fool! That was clearly going to come back to bite him, although I didn't realise how big a bite!

Two things about the red wedding. Number 1 - if I lived in such times and such places, surrounded by constant danger and in fact in the middle of a big war, I wouldn't stick my big scary wolf outside in a shed - it would be under the table eating scraps and ready to rip the throat out of any foes that got near me. Number 2 - Catelyn Stark, what was she doing?! She realised the danger and stood up, for several moments in fact. Why didn't she jump under a table right away? Then, having been shot with an arrow, she managed not only to stand up once again but also to get hold of a knife. So what does she do with her remaining time - gives a speech and grabs the completely pointless Frey wife (who has at least had the sense to duck and cover). If I'd been Catelyn I'd have lobbed the knife at Frey Snr. He was sitting right there. She's still die but with the satisfaction of doing so in sight of that lecherous old monster sitting with a blade lodged in his face.

I watched the trailer for Series 4. Gods it looks good. I can't wait, except of course that I must. Hopefully not for another year though!

[Minty]

After what the Stark's direwolves did to Joffrey & Jon Umber (& the assassin after Bran), they must have realised that it was pretty doubtful anyone would let them cross their doorway, even if they did belong to the King of the North!

King Robert told Edd in the first series direwolves didn't make for good pets, suggesting it had been tried before & failed. They were also in little position to make demands of Frey at that time, having trodden on his toes enough.

Catelyn realised what was up & they were doomed once the musicians started playing The Rains Of Castermere, the Lannister's song. Trying to bargain Frey's wife's life for Robb's life was the only card she'd left to play, although with someone who had buried many wives before unlikely to work. Besides, after killing Robb's wife, Frey would have been crazy to let Robb leave alive - Robb would have devoted the rest of his days to avenging himself on the Freys for it, even if a destitute fugitive on the run from the Boltons & Lannisters.

Catelyn's obsession with her children's lives being her fatal flaw has been a running theme in the story. She took Tyrion prisoner on trumped up charges of having tried to murder Bran twice (at the very time he was investigating what he suspected was his siblings' handiwork), in doing so setting off the initial battle between the Lannisters & the Starks that went to full scale war when Edd was executed. Her letting Jaime go later - their only trump card - fatally split the Stark alliance in the silly hope it would see Sansa & Arya set free.

It's quite fun to think about each character's fatal flaw & how it may be their undoing.

Lannisters
Tywin's is protecting the Lannisters power at any cost, even if as Tyrion tells him it means no Lannister for a generation will be able to sleep in a bed without a guard outside their door for the rest of their lives if they make enemies of the whole world.

Cersei's is seeing everyone that isn't a Lannister as an enemy needing to be bribed, bullied, blackmailed or butchered. There's another reason she's screwed up as well, but I'll not mention that.

Tyrion's is - like Bran said in series 2 - being desperate to be loved even though he knows prejudice against dwarves means some will hate him no matter good what he does them. This despite his wise consel to Jon Snow in the very first episode.

Baratheons

Joffrey's is that he exists.

Stanis' is his obsession with the Red Priestess' jibber jabber & refusing to accept that plenty will back anyone else rather than someone worshipping a god into blood sacrifices & using the occult to kill opponents (think of Varys conversations with Tyrion)

Targarian

Daenys' is getting to the stage she thinks she knows better than her advisors because she's proved them wrong a few times (after falling on her small but perfectly formed bum through most of series 1 & 2). She's starting to take Ser Jorah in particular for granted because she knows he's got the hots for her. That's only going to last so long as she stays single.

She's also too obsessed with winning a throne in a land she has never lived in & hasn't a clue about out of a childish notion of "birthright" (think Bonnie Prince Charlie) when perhaps she should be conquoring Essos instead - richer pickings & a softer target. Her argument in the city of Quarth with the Spice King when he refuses to lend "my little princess" his ships ought to have been her wake up call that in Westeros the Targarian name is one now to live down, not live up to, & living in her ancestor's pasts may cost her any future.

The Greyjoys

Their whole "Ironborn way" bollards, little more than the false honour code of a bunch of pirates that saw them exiled back to the Iron Islands when every other house in Westeros sought their extermination as parasites.

If Yara (the only one with an IQ to the left of a decimal point) doesn't start changing their ways & making friends, it's pretty certain before the series is over they'll go the same way as the Reynes as too much trouble to be allowed to live.

The Boltons

Existing.

The Starks, Brienne of Tarth, Yara Greyjoy, any refugees from Winterfell, everyone in the north despised them long before they betrayed the Starks because of their pecadillo for torture & cruelty to anyone that isn't a Bolton for the fun of it. Like the Greyjoys, people will back anyone that will kill them, never a good position to be in.

[Caspin]

My goodness! I go out for a couple of hours (to be twisted into fantastical shapes by a yoga teacher from India) and return to find that the GoT discussion has now reached the level of requiring subtitles! I love it! I think Minty should do the commentaries for the box set.

I will have to re-read when I have recharged my brain. On the way home I was thinking about the square vegetables and that it would be great if you could stack them up in the fridge in the style of a game of Tetris! That was when I realised that I need to sleep very soon. Goodnight, sleep tight, if you can. The night is dark and full of terrors (the first time she said that I misheard it as "the night is dark and full of feathers").

[Caspin]

I do like Yara. I hope she can sort out her brother's captors. Give them the same treatment that they have meted out, please. I wasn't too bothered at first, as I kept thinking about what a Theon had done to the farm boys and thought it was just karma, but then his crazy torturer went too far.

I also quite like the onion knight and his distrust of the red priestess.

One thing I think needed more explanation was the appearance of the young lad (sorry - the young Bruce) and his sister who are now travelling with Bran. I know that in the books there is probably plenty of backstory about them, but on the TV show it's like some random kids just appear and start tagging along.



I have developed a really annoying RSI in my right hand. My thumb and finger are weak and twitchy. It is from too much mouse clicking at work I think. I wish I had a trackpad there like I have at home - much easier to use without getting problems like this. My eyes are twitchy too. Lord I must look crazy!

[Minty]

There's a few more I forgot about for my list of fatal flaws:

Petyr Baelish

Best summed up by Varys as someone who would see the whole country burn if he could be king of the ashes. Unlike Varys who came from nothing & appreciates the feat of reaching the top (& that you can always fall off if you get too cocky), Baelish was a minor noble & reaching the top only means seeing a bigger peak on the horizon he wants to conquer next, those older & more powerful noble families that have what he wants, & what he wants is whatever they have.

He has one fatal chip on his shoulder that's played a major part in him causing much chaos, & that's Catelyn Stark, his unrequited love. Baelish betrayed Edd because he saw it as removing the competition for Catelyn, & could never understand it meant she would hate him forever, never mind the idea of preferring Joffrey on the throne instead of Stannis was lunacy (driving Stannis in turn into selling his soul to the Red Priestess).

With Catelyn dead, what's the betting he want Sansa as the next best thing to having Catelyn? Only problem, Tyrion is in the way. More to that, the Lannisters & Freys responsible for Catelyn's death would have to be insane to trust him as he's a motive until the day he dies to spend every waking hour looking for an opportunity to screw them over (& what better way to win over Sansa than by avenging her dead parents?). Taking on the Lannisters might be one bite more than he can chew, but something suggest he won't be able to help himself sting them.

Sansa Stark

Sansa Stark is one big fatal flaw. Unlike Arya, she never learns from her mistakes & spends her entire time like a rabbit trapped in car headlights. Even having realised she is stupid & naive, she still does nothing to improve her situation. She has been lucky beyond belief to have survived unscathed so far, but I don't see that lasting forever.

Arya Stark

Her impatience & desire for revenge against an ever growing list of bad ones may be her undoing, but she's the one standout character in Game Of Thrones for learning from her mistakes fast (note how she saved Gentry by using the helmet he made & had dropped as "proof" that Joffrey's soldiers had killed the boy she claimed was him), as the events at Harrenhal showed. She is the one Stark that has survived because she deserved to, not by luck.

Sandor Clegane

The Hound's permanent chip on his shoulder over his face spurning potential friendships & lovers wherever he goes means the moment he's too weak to fight, there's not going to be a single person that will raise a sword to defend him.

The infuriating part about him is for all his talk, he is an honourable man at heart (defending the Knight of the Flowers when his treacherous brother tries to stab him in the back having lost at the joust, warning Tyrion about Joffrey, & finally abandoning Joffrey & the Lannisters while offering to help Sansa escape when he realises they're not worth fighting for), yet seems obsessed with playing out his "look at me, I've dead evil, so I am" routine. He also saves Arya from certain death at the Red Wedding, even though with all the Starks apparantly slaughtered, she is now of no ransomable value & therefore of no use to him.

Bronn

Being too bloody clever for his own good. Eventually someone like Cersei or Tywin will see that as a threat.

Lysa Aaryn

A loopy pervert throwing out wild conspiracy theories at a moment's notice to cover up her VERY unhealthy love for her child (ironically, it was her accusation by letter that Cersei murdered her husband to prevent him blabbing about her incestuous relationship with Jaime that played a major part in kicking off the whole chain of events that led to the war), whom she has made mentally ill in the process.

You may as well turn an eggtimer on how long before she's dead considering it was only respect for her sister Catelyn Stark that stopped half the kingdom from bumping her off & having her son made a ward of Tywin Lannister or Stannis Baratheon before the people in the Vale rebelled against her. Even Blackfish Tully (he that takes over shooting the burning arrow at the Tully funeral) - considered the most honourable knight in Westeros - had walked out on her before this despite being appointed Warden of The Bloody Gate in the Vale (a prestigeous position)

Brienne of Tarth

A knight errant character, unable to distinguish between idealistics & pragmatics, despite all evidence to the contrary. In particular she believes in the chivalric code & the sanctity of oaths despite everything Jaime has demonstrated to her is something those meant to uphold it only do when it suits their purpose. Eventually she's going to find herself caught between two fires from her rigid thinking - probably trying to slay a dragon single handed or something equally as daft.

OK, that's the last one, I promise!

[Minty]

(25-02-2014 10:26 PM)Caspin Wrote:  I do like Yara. I hope she can sort out her brother's captors. Give them the same treatment that they have meted out, please. I wasn't too bothered at first, as I kept thinking about what a Theon had done to the farm boys and thought it was just karma, but then his crazy torturer went too far.

I also quite like the onion knight and his distrust of the red priestess.

One thing I think needed more explanation was the appearance of the young lad (sorry - the young Bruce) and his sister who are now travelling with Bran. I know that in the books there is probably plenty of backstory about them, but on the TV show it's like some random kids just appear and start tagging along.

Ramsey Snow (Bolton's bar steward son) really is a vicious piece of work, even by Bolton standards. He had all the Ironborn that betrayed Theon flayed alive before slaughtering the remaining inhabitants of Winterfell & torching it. As for what he does to his wife, perhaps best you never find out.

The guy that plays him was originally pegged to play Jon Snow, but they decided he didn't look Stark enough to be believable. Apparantly the evil gits who direct the show made them redo the sausage eating scene over & over, because they'd a bet on with the guy that plays Theon how many sausages he could eat before he was ready to be sick!

Peter Pan and Wendy as I call them (the Reeds) had been tracking Bran for some time, as he'd visions he & his sister needed to aid them in their journey to meet the three eyed raven. In the book, they arrive at Winterfell to see Bran the day before it is captured by the Ironborn boneheads). Their father is the ruler of the Crannogs of the southern half of The North known as The Neck. It is the most inhospitable place in all of Westeros, even worse than beyond the wall for the unwary. Think of the Black Marshes in Lord of the Rings & you'll get the picture.

The Reeds vast territory is unconquerable, but no one would want it anyway. One creepy mystery is that it is impossible to send raven messengers in or out of it, they always vanish - a sort of raven Bermuda Triangle. Armies heading north or south bypass it by ship.

One important piece of information that series 3 left out but the book covered at the same stage is that the Reeds are mortal enemies of the Freys, who have tried & failed to attack them several times (all drowning in the marshes without managing to kill a single Reed - one of the many reasons they are seen by other houses as a joke). The Reeds are loyal to House Stark, but due to their geographical position mobilising & taking part in any wars is impractical, so they always sit them out.

Bran & the Reeds are still to meet one more significant friend on their journey before their part starts making any proper sense, although it will really turn your head when you discover who - or rather what - he is!

(25-02-2014 10:26 PM)Caspin Wrote:  I have developed a really annoying RSI in my right hand. My thumb and finger are weak and twitchy. It is from too much mouse clicking at work I think. I wish I had a trackpad there like I have at home - much easier to use without getting problems like this. My eyes are twitchy too. Lord I must look crazy!

Poor you! I sometimes get this & flex my hand in the sink filled with hot salty water until I get bored doing it. Not sure if it does any good, but it seems to work, along with taking soluable aspirins. Your work's H&S have a legal duty to sort any work related RSI, it may be worth seeing if they will agree to switching you over to a trackpad.

[Caspin]

I'm sure work would get me a trackpad if I asked. I moved to a new office in October and they bought me some new tech including a computer with two screens, which has made things much easier. However I think that in a way switching the mouse would result in me masking the symptoms instead of providing a cure for the problem, which is working extra hours. A sore hand is one thing but I'm worried about my sore eyes a lot more. And I don't think I can waft them around in a sink of hot salty water.

Poor Ollie must be sick of us harping on about GoT. Sorry Ollie!

Yeah don't tell me what Ramsey did to his wife. I'd probably be upset. I am now imagining many horrors as it is! Ta, though, for explaining the Reeds. That makes more sense now.

I liked your exercise on fatal flaws.

They have those fatal flaw traits in Sims Medieval and I think they would be good in TS3 actually. See - I have made this Sims-related (sort of)! I'm not sure what my fatal flaw would be. Hmmmmm.

I really like Bron and Pod. Tyrian picks good companions.

I see what you mean about Daenerys getting a bit too big for her boots and paying less attention to her advisers, but she still seems the least horrific ruler available. I hope she does all right. Also she has dragons so what can possibly go wrong?!

An engineer is coming tomorrow to fix the faulty internet, so hopefully that'll get sorted.