I know what this site needs...

[Cassie]

Or even creepier, a baby tortoise throwing people around. Tortoises can be seriously evil. You should have see the way my friend's tortoise looked at me, I can promise you it was not the look of love. He looked like he wanted to exterminate me there and then, and he started chomping its teethless mouth at me. I was terrified, hehe. :o