Anyone Played Skyrim (Elder Scrolls V) Yet?

[Minty]

All I wanted was a valuation on some stupid piece of jewellery, before I know I'm sucked into that stupid thieves guild and their smelly damp den and their 25 year old feud.

Worst of all though was when I was told I could join some super secret special gang. Everyone in Skyrim seems to be in something like this? How long before the Stonecutters, Dumbledore's Army and the Hair Club for Men are sure to turn up at this rate.

This one's been the biggest let down of the lot. I've spotted a couple of times these people with really scary looking all black outfits, like they'd cut you open and leave you for vultures to devour kinda thing.

But what are they called? The Nightingales. Needless to say my initiation and this other initiates didn't go well.




Brynjolf: "NIGHTINGALES? You got us Karliah to dress up in these outfits that scream 'we're the most badass gang in the whole of Skyrim' only for you to tell us you want us to be called NIGHTINGALES? No wonder you got thrown out of the Thieves Guild."

Karliah: "That is our name. Nocturnal bids it and you should be honoured!"

Brynjolf: "Forget it! I don't care if she's a Daedric Princess. Everyone in the Ragged Flagon will rip on me forever if they find out I'm in some secret club that sounds like was created by boarding school girls! They'll be giving it 'Oh Brynjolf, do you have magic hockey sticks that cause 50 points of shock and magic damage?'."




Nocturnal: "SILENCE MORTAL! Do not dare to question my will, or you shall pay with your soul!"

Brynjolf: "Screw you! I'd sooner die with my dignity intact that get ripped on for being a girly Nightingale."

Nocturnal: "What's wrong with being a Nightingale? Nightingales are powerful and mysterious."

Brynjolf: "Dude, seriously. See THIS is why GIRLS can't form super hardcore secret clubs. I'm surprised you haven't got us wearing fake fairy wings and added fluffy bits and sparkles to the blade and armour!"

Nocturnal: "The Nightingales ARE super hardcore! More super hardcore than everyone else, especially that stupid Dark Brotherhood who everyone knows are all just a bunch of mummy's boys!"

Brynjolf: "You just don't like them because they've got a pet spider, which shows you're being girly again!"

Nocturnal: "IS NOT! SPIDERS ARE GROSS! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!"

Brynjolf: "Is so! You're a big girly Daedric Princess who thinks dressing in black makes her dead emo and goth and super scary but I bet you cried like a girly girl at the end of Deathly Hallows!"

Nocturnal: "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!"

Brynjolf: "Bet Boethiah would have a cool name for HIS secret gang! Why can't we be called the Ravens instead? You surround yourself with them? Ravens would be cool."

Nocturnal: (smug) "Coz you're not hardcore enough to be a Raven, only I am!"

Brynjolf: "Am so! Am so more than you! Bet you've even given all your ravens GIRLY names like Ebony and Sapphire!"

Nocturnal: (blushing) "So? So what if I have?"

Brynjolf: "Hahaha! Knew it!"

At which point Nocturnal got really pissed and started firing shock spells everywhere. Took a 50 point hit but was the only one that got out of the initiation chamber in time. I'll keep the muffled boots, but think I'll give joining the Nightingales a miss. I don't seem to have much luck with Daedric deities.