Rolling The Dice

[Caspin]

MURDER!

It was with some horror that Vanessa realised that she had been married to Styles for a whole year. A year! It felt like forever. He was an old man now but just as nagging and grumpy as the day they'd met. Always giving sanctimonious speeches and muttering about how untidy the house was. Of course it was untidy - they had a toddler and a teenager!




Vanessa couldn't take it any longer. "Urgh, he's got to go", she muttered. "I can't wait for Veronica's birthday party. This ends now."

Styles was livid that Vanessa had planted so many trees in the back yard. Now that Autumn had arrived they were dropping leaves all over the place. He had filled dozens of bin bags full of the damned things but more and more kept appearing. He was starting to suspect that Vicky was driving around the neighbourhood collecting leaves and then dumping them in the yard when he wasn't looking. He even found a few leaves in the back of the car! But why would she do that? Surely she knew how annoying that would be?




"I'm going to sweep up the whole lot", Styles said. "Then I'm going to cut those bloody trees down!"

Veronica: Twees!
Styles: Er, yes, dear. Eat your breakfast.

Styles started early that morning, raking and raking for hours.




Vanessa: But darling - it's our anniversary! We should do something together. I will help you rake up the leaves.
Styles: Excellent! Grab a rake.




Before long they had formed several enormous piles of leaves. It started raining, then hail fell, but still they raked.




Even after darkness fell and Vanessa went in to make dinner, Styles could not stop raking. He was so close to achieving a tidy garden!




The heaps of leaves grew enormous. Styles raked feverishly through the night and continued the next morning. He lost all sense of reason and the just raked the piles randomly all over the garden. The neighbours walked by, commenting on his hard work and looking worried at his exhausted face, but Styles ignored them and kept on and on, making ever bigger heaps of leaves.




Vanessa watched from the house. "That should do it", she murmured.




Going quietly to Vicky's room, she collected the fireworks that her daughter had bought in the local store. Vicky had made sure everyone in the shop heard her mention that it was her sister's birthday party soon and that an extravaganza was planned. Vanessa crept around the garden, carefully placing them into the heaps of leaves (checking for hedgehogs and shooing them out first).

Next up: alibis. Vanessa didn't want any mistakes. Vanessa rang up Vicky's girlfriend and invited her over for dinner. Peggy turned up (slightly overdressed) and enjoyed a meal with the Valentines.




Peggy: What a lot of leaves your husband has raked up, Mrs Valentine!
Vanessa: Yes he's big on tidiness. Obsessive, really.

Vanessa: Be sure to be well clear of the scene, Vicky.
Vicky: Don't worry, I'm rather busy here.
Vanessa: Er, yes, I see that.




Vanessa prepared Veronica, whisking her into her new coat, which just so happened to be highly fire-retardant.




Vanessa: Do you like your new outfit, Veronica? Would you like to go into the garden and play under the trees with your new toy box?
Veronica: Twees!
Vanessa: Yes, that's right. Just like we discussed before. Go on.




Vanessa set Veronica down with her box of matches, or streichholzschächtelchen as some might say. [Obviously I am not condoning toddlers playing with matches, but this is merely a simulation.]

Vanessa: Go!

Veronica set off, trying to ignite the leaf piles as she crawled around the garden. Weaving in and out of all those heaps, she moved unnoticed by Styles. But all that rain had soaked the leaves and the fireworks within so it was difficult for her to set them on fire.

"Too slow!", Vanessa screamed inside her head. "I'll have to help".




Styles: Where's your rake, woman! Those trees keep throwing down more leaves! It's intolerable!
Vanessa: Well take a break and have a look at these delightful fireworks. I thought we could test a few ahead of Veronica's birthday party!




Styles: I don't think that's a good idea with all these leaves around!
Vanessa: What's that dear, I can't hear you over the immense noise of these fireworks!




"FIRE!" shouted Styles. "Stop lighting fireworks!"




Things quickly escalated out of control, with several heaps of leaves now catching alight. The neighbours saw the blaze and came rushing across.

[Ollie, what are you wearing?]




As large numbers of people arrived on the scene, Vicky and Peggy came running outside. Vanessa realised they needed to be seen to do something, so she began pretending to extinguish one of the smaller fires.




The neighbours continued to react helpfully, with Ollie and Minty fanning the flames with their arms. Vanessa carefully sprayed the neighbours with her extinguisher, while the flames grew hotter around Styles.




Vicky stood there, staring coldly as the moment came.




Grim appeared and Styles was no more.




Vicky: Well, that went well. I'm going to drive Peggy home.
Vanessa: Yes ...... all done ......




Vanessa felt strangely sad. "Damn, I'll have to rake up all this mess myself now", she realised.