Rolling The Dice

[Caspin]

The Safe House

Caspin, Minty and Ollie were too scared to stay in their house after the party.

Ollie: She might set our house alight in the night!
Caspin: Well she killed her husband, so anything is possible.
Minty: We will go to the safe house.
Ollie: We have a safe house?
Minty: Yes, my Great Aunt Griselda left me some old dilapidated wreck of a house in her will. It's not fantastic but nobody really knows about it, so we should be safe there.
Caspin: Let's go!

The safe house was in dire need of repair, but the chances of being firebombed in their sleep were greatly reduced. In the morning, Minty set about trying to make some basic repairs.




Poor Ollie. He had a stack of homework in his backpack but was afraid to go to school in case he saw Victoria there. He decided to write up his work and send it in to the school.

Caspin: I'll call the school and say you have a contagious disease so you'll be staying home.
Ollie: Well that does sound more plausible than me having a murderous neighbour who wishes to burn us in our beds.




Caspin: Do you really think we are safe here?
Minty: For a little while. We will obviously need to devise a more permanent solution.
Caspin: That's impossible just now. I can't think while I'm hungry. I'm going to make waffles using this antiquated stove that has been in disuse for some time and smells as though it is leaking gas.
Minty: Great, I'm starving!




Ollie: Oh for heaven's sake, Caspin, now you've gone and set the safe house on fire! Who needs an arsonist neighbour when we've got you!
Caspin: I'm so sorry!
Minty: Call the fire station!




Minty: Caspin, quit flirting with the firemen!
Caspin: Very sorry about this, Fireman Sam......
Sam: No problem. No problem at all.




They were still hungry so made a cold salad and settled down to a peaceful meal among the charred remains of the safe house kitchen.




Corruption

Vanessa: WHERE ARE THEY?!

She stormed around the house. How dare they disappear in the night! She needed someone to frame for Styles' murder. It would be unacceptable for the case to remain open. She needed it closed so that she and her girls could move on with their lives. Where could they possibly be?

Fortunately for Vanessa, she had friends everywhere. In high places and in low places. In particular, she shared with Caspin a fondness for uniforms. Indeed, Vanessa was somewhat partial to the odd fireman, or firewoman, herself. She started phoning around the neighbourhood, pretending to be concerned for her neighbour's safety and whereabouts.




Her familiarity with the fireman's pole was about to come in very handy.




Later that afternoon, Fireman Sam sent a messenger round to Vanessa's with some good news.




Messenger: Sam asked me to pop round, Vanessa, to stop you from worrying about your missing neighbours. They must be taking a bit of a vacation - they're staying up in that old house in the woods. Goodness knows why. It's in a terrible state. Caspin set the kitchen on fire this morning! Anyway, don't worry - they are fine.
Vanessa: Really? That is great news. Thank you so much! WHAT A RELIEF!




Vanessa: Hahahaha! Gotcha!

Her love of uniforms was not restricted to the fire department. As soon as the messenger had gone, she got police chief Hank on the line.

Vanessa: Hank! So good to hear your voice. Yes, I've missed your handcuffs. We must get together some time!




Vanessa: But before that, I need something from you, Hank. I need JUSTICE! Justice for my crispy husband. Yes, I have located the suspect and can tell you her location.




Arrest!

Police chief Hank was keen to impress Vanessa and wasted no time in dispatching a unit to pick up the chief murder suspect. The fact that she and her friends had fled and gone into hiding seemed to add weight to Vanessa's accusation.

Ollie: There's a police car coming up the hill!
Caspin: OOOhh goody!
Minty: For heaven's sake, you are insatiable!
Caspin: Don't be silly, I just like the flashing lights.
Minty: Hmmm.
Ollie: Erm, they are stopping here.
Caspin: I will go and say hello!




Caspin: Hello! Nice lights!
Officer: You are under arrest for murder. I will now read you your rights.
Caspin: No way. I'm innocent!
Officer: That's what they all say. Get in the car.
Caspin: I really am! Vanessa killed Styles. Honestly, I can explain everything!




Officer: I'm going to have to handcuff you.
Caspin: Gosh, well, I don't mind.
Ollie: FOCUS, Caspin!
Minty: Oh dear god. Now she's losing her temper.
Caspin: I AM INNOCENT! I will not go down for that psycho's crimes!




Officer: Er, yes. You will.

And so Caspin was arrested and taken to the police station.

Evidence

Ollie: What are we going to do?
Minty: We will find evidence for Caspin's defence!
Ollie: Excellent! Wait, where will we find evidence?
Minty: In the bin!

They waited until after dark, then drove to Vanessa's house.

Ollie: That bin looks very full and very smelly. You take that one. I will look through the relatively clean and neatly organised recycling box.
Minty: Great.




Ollie: Wow there are lot of leaves!
Minty: Yeah, and they smell a bit gunpowdery don't they!
Ollie: But is that evidence? I mean, there were fireworks. It was a party. It's hardly surprising is it.
Minty: True. But wait. Look at this!




Minty: It's the notebook in which Caspin wrote out the plot of "The Case of the Crispy Husband" for Vicky. This is a blueprint for the murder.... in the murderer's bin!
Ollie: Yay! That's evidence, right?!

Just then, the lights came on and Vanessa appeared at the door. "What are you doing in my bins?"




Minty: We know it was YOU who killed Styles!
Vanessa: Oh really? Caspin's been arrested by our top quality police force, so I think you'll find that it must have been her.




Ollie: Yes, we have evidence!
Vanessa: Evidence? That book? Hahahahaha!
Ollie: Why are you laughing?! Wasn't it a bit careless of you to leave a murder plan in your bin?
Vanessa: Well, given that it's written in Caspin's handwriting and now has her friends' fingerprints all over it, no not really. I think it makes great evidence for the prosecution actually. I've got Police Chief Hank upstairs and I think he's going to find this discovery quite useful.




Ollie: Aarrrrghhh!
Minty: Oh crap.

Vanessa laughed delightedly as the guys left, deflated.

Incarceration

Everyone turned up at the court house for Caspin's trial.







As expected, she was comprehensively framed by Vanessa's top legal team and given a long prison sentence. Minty and Ollie waved sadly as Caspin was led away and delivered into the 'care' of Prison Governor Flora.

Minty: Don't worry, we'll come to visit you!
Ollie: Yes and we will bring cake!
Caspin: That'll be nice. I hope they have wifi!
Ollie: I don't think she's fully grasped the situation.
Minty: Er, no.

Vanessa chuckled gleefully.

No Wifi




Governor Flora: Keep walking, Prisoner.
Caspin: Wow, these corridors are very long and dark. You should paint them or something, governor.
Governor Flora: No talking.
Caspin: No talking? Oh dear.




Governor Flora: This will be your cell.
Caspin: Oh..... how nice. I won't be here long due to my innocence.
Governor Flora: You keep telling yourself that, Prisoner.
Caspin: Mmm. Can I please have the password for the wifi?
Governor Flora: Hahahaha! There's no wifi for you!
Caspin: Really? Oh no. No wifi. I need to get out of here!