The Official Nonsense Thread

[Caspin]

Oooh would love some thunder and lightening. Here it is gray and dull, but muggy hot. Horrible. Bit of rain would be nice.

Now Mr Minty, do be careful not to release any season 3 spoilers here, won't you, as I have been authorised by Ollie to take the train up there and do bad things to do you with an omelette plan if you give too much away.

[Minty]

An omelette plan? Is that something to do with setting one of Cassie's famous nice omelettes on me? Has Ollie been keeping them for her in her absense and trained them to be flying killer omelettes to go with his navy of hover sharks?

I promise no spoilers. I will say I have been dreadful at second guessing so much of what's happened in the third series. Now there is a two week wait because they won't show an episode over an American holiday weekend, so a fortnight's agony before the penultimate episode of the the third series, which is only half of the third book. Plenty more series left to go!

Saw an advert today for a tactical salesman. What the hell is that? It's as pretentious as a "sandwich artist".

[Caspin]

Eek! "Sandwich artist" - is that like when people who wash up the glasses in pubs were relabelled as "glassware coordinators".

Ah yes, the Omelette Plan, lol! I meant to say 'pan', obviously, but I like the idea of a whole Omelette Plan much better. Especially if the hover-sharks are going to be involved. I have become rather fond of the hover-sharks.

Ollie has been very quiet this week, so either he is indeed raising up a navy of hover-sharks to help me enact my Omelette Plan, or he is sitting quietly catching up on Game of Thrones (hopefully with his laptop facing away from his mother as she may not like him watching some of the naughtier bits!).

[Ollie]

Haven't really watched anything of Game of thrones, hmmm.
I don't know why but I have been getting more tired than usual after school. Yawn, well at least it's the weekend now.

[Caspin]

:mw_wave: Hello Ollie!

Oh dear, so you haven't been training a squadron of hover-sharks to take part in Operation Omelette? Well, this is a setback. I may have to set in motion Plan B.



Perhaps you are getting sick? I hope not. I have a person ill at home at the moment, with fatigue being a symptom, and lots of people at work have been saying they are unusually tired, which could just be a reaction to the weird weather we're having here. Hope you get some sleep over the weekend and feel better.

[Ollie]

I doubt I'm getting sick, at least I hope I'm not as I have exams next week.

I (almost) swear, there was so much fog this morning, it reminded me of the time I went up to the blue mountains to see the three sisters, but we could barely see a couple of meters ahead of us, so that failed. The fog was just as bad as GTA SA's draw distance.

[Minty]

OK, the Woolwich beheading yesterday was bad enough, but here's the final proof that this country has gone to the dogs!

An 86-year-old grandmother has been warned by police not to supply a giant Double Gloucester wheel for a cheese rolling festival near Brockworth, Gloucestershire - because it would be too "dangerous".

Evil granny defies police & carries on cheesing

For the past 25 years, Diana Smart has been making a special cheese wheel for the annual event, which sees competitors chase cheese down the 200-yard Cooper's Hill, Gloucestershire.

But this year, Mrs Smart got a surprise visit from three police officers who warned her not to donate the 8lb wheel because it was a health and safety hazard.

Mrs Smart was told that she would be liable for any injuries if she went ahead with providing the cheese.

"The police came to my farm and said it could cause us an enormous amount of damages. They threatened me, saying I would be wholly responsible if anyone got injured,"

A Gloucestershire police spokesman said: "Advice has been given to all those who have participated in any planning of an unofficial cheese rolling event.

"We feel it is important that those who could be constituted as organisers of the event, are aware of the responsibilities that come with it so that they can make an informed decision about their participation."

My heart goes out to those brave officers who risked their lives to storm this factory of death & deliver justice.




Look at the evil old witch, proudly flaunting her Double Gloucesters for the cameras.
Hanging's too good for this sort!

[Caspin]

Perhaps Ollie just feels tired at the prospect of impending exams. I know I would!

Minty, don't get me started on the Woolwich beheading. All I will say is that I think the PM's "Big Society" idea, with volunteers replacing trained professionals in every conceivable discipline, has gone too far if the armed response unit of the police force take so long to reach a murder scene (where the murderers are still loitering, waving machetes about and waiting to be caught) that a local scout leader has to step in to challenge the perpetrators. I shall shut up about it now though.

Re: health and safety issues related to rolling wheels of cheese down a hill. Well this is yet another bitter blow. First Operation Omelette is foiled by the unavailability of hover-sharks, now Plan B must also be set aside. What is the world coming to.

*Shakes head sadly at failure of fiendish schemes*

[Minty]

(24-05-2013 02:13 PM)Caspin Wrote:  Minty, don't get me started on the Woolwich beheading. All I will say is that I think the PM's "Big Society" idea, with volunteers replacing trained professionals in every conceivable discipline, has gone too far if the armed response unit of the police force take so long to reach a murder scene (where the murderers are still loitering, waving machetes about and waiting to be caught) that a local scout leader has to step in to challenge the perpetrators. I shall shut up about it now though.

They were probably told they had to wait for a health & safety risk assessment before going in.

What also gets me is every time this happens, it's a "Muslim" issue. Um, nope - no more than it's "Christian" every time the Orange Order have their jollies in July & it all ends in a riot, petrol bombs, people getting stabbed & the rest of the stuff that gets blacked out of the newspapers up here & in Northern Ireland.

When was the last Sufi terrorist outrage? Or the Quaranists? Or the Druze (who form the famous Herev Battalion of the Israeli Defence Force!). Or the Almadi? Not only that, they get twice as much terrorism done against them by Muslim "radicals" but no one says a word about it - & it's always the same branch behind it.

Maybe, just maybe, if successive Western governments didn't keep turning a blind eye to mouth-foaming bigots being allowed to come over preaching hate just because they're terrified of offending Saudi Arabia (but are happy however to stamp on just about every other Muslim countries' toes), these incidents wouldn't occur. Or do we all have to wait for them to run out of oil (& thus relevence) first?

Or maybe our governments like it that way because if we're all too busy worrying about barking medieval minded terrorists, we aren't paying attention to our leaders passing more tax breaks for themselves & their mates in Parliament, etc.

Ugh! Too cynical for a beautiful Friday night!

(24-05-2013 02:13 PM)Caspin Wrote:  Re: health and safety issues related to rolling wheels of cheese down a hill. Well this is yet another bitter blow. First Operation Omelette is foiled by the unavailability of hover-sharks, now Plan B must also be set aside. What is the world coming to.

*Shakes head sadly at failure of fiendish schemes*

We need Ollie to construct bouncing omelettes capable of going down a hill without rolling in order to thwart health & safety nannies; & blow up any German dams in case Merkel decides to go for "third time lucky"!

Perhaps hover-sharks could be unmothballed & armed with nob-darts?

[Caspin]

I shall be tea girl this evening. I am worried that Minty might get too politically angered and drop the best teapot or something. Minty, put your feet up and I'll bring you a cuppa.
Wait a minute ..... Ollie did you eat all the cake again?!

Sims Forums - Home of the Hover-Sharks. They are like our secret weapon.

Wow, if you Google hover-sharks, you get actual hover-sharks.




Well well well.