The Official Nonsense Thread

[Minty]

Work Christmas lunches are okay - even though I have never attended one. I would make the excuse so everyone else could go & the office would be manned. Result = lovely peace & quiet for a whole afternoon, & everyone feeling so sorry for me "giving up" on a lunch they all had to pay for anyway (& which always ended up at the golf club two of the buggers in the place were on the committee of - no nepotism there, 'hem-'hem!).

Work Christmas dinners after hours - ugh! I hated them. No matter where I sat, or how early I arrived to make sure "this year it doesn't happen", I'd end up stuck next to Norbert Boringfunker who'd spend the whole meal wittering on about his bicycle or 20 millimetre camera with hypersonic shutter or whatever that was so powerful it could take a picture of astronauts scratching their arses on the moon or whatever; never mind the number of times the dinner came so "rare" as to be raw in all but name.

Best "Christmas lunch" ever was the year loads were off sick so it was cancelled & I suggested we make one day a "work in Christmas lunch". A buffet (one normal, one Indian) and later pizzas brought in to stuff ourselves all during the working day (as if the office tin of Roses and Quality Street weren't enough). By the time we were heading for home we were all too stuffed to move.