The Official Nonsense Thread

[Caspin]

Ah, it's good to be back home and sleeping in my own bed. Mmmmmm bed.

Did anyone get any weird gifts for Christmas? I have received a late contender, which is a soap on a rope. I actually really like it! Also it might be useful if any of us need to take a shower in a jail, as I understand it's best to avoid dropping your soap in such places.

Apparently it's the last day of 2014 (thank goodness) so may I take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy new year!

[Minty]

Happy new year!

Watching a programme about the first synth bands. Shocking how grim & awful so many English cities were in the late 70s, everything grey & grimy & depressing. To think people get nostalgic about it!

[Caspin]

I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone be so nostalgic about the 70s! You're right though, the 70s looked grimy and depressing, then in the 80s everything became a shiny type of depressing, in a sort of flammable fake satin kind of way. Or at least that's how I think of them.

Going to go for a little amble around today, seeing as it seems to have stopped raining. I might even go into the woods, probably to the detriment of my shoes but never mind. It has that feel of a lovely crisply cold but bright winter's day.

Stevie G is apparently leaving Liverpool at the end of the season. I've suggested to Marine that they try to sign him up but, bizarrely, my scheme is not being taken seriously. Jamie Carragher puts in an appearance occasionally so it's not that outlandish. OK, it's outlandish.

Everyone I know (offline I mean) seems to be on the verge of buying a PS4. The question is, where are they all going to put their PS3s? My brother still has his PS2!

[Caspin]

Ahhhhhhh that was a mean polenta, even if I do say so myself. Whenever someone else makes it I find it too runny. Like a corn soup or something. Personally, I like my polenta the same way I like my ..... erm..... porridge - nice and stiff.



Stiff enough to stand up a spoon in it. Yeah baby!

[Caspin]

I seem to have fallen into an alternative universe as I am GLAD to have returned to work this week. It's very strange. I was starting to feel quite anxious and was not sleeping well towards the end of last week. I thought I was feeling blue about the idea of coming back to the daily grind, but in fact it has done me good. I feel a lot more energetic and less hopeless. Having reflected upon this unexpected turn of events, I concluded that after two weeks at home I had too much time on my hands to worry about all the horrendous problems in the world, whereas at work people present me with problems that I can actually fix, which is less stressful and indeed quite satisfying. Good.

Did anyone make a new year resolution? I don't normally bother as I am too busy working on my lifelong resolutions!

[Caspin]

Here we are at the end of a week. What a week. Terrible events in France etc.

I do hope Minty has not been blown away in the high winds or washed out to sea in the storms up in Scotland. I always check the weather for Stornoway and see that it has been somewhat wild. Hope all is well.

I think the BBC news website is currently being written by work experience students. It annoys me quite a lot at the best of times, but today I was particularly exasperated by a caption "emergency services dealing with fallen trees" on a picture of a slightly bent branch, followed by "buildings were damaged" on a picture of a shop sign that had fallen slightly askew. I'm exaggerating, of course, as are they.

To my dismay I see that, having only just got through Christmas, the shops are already stocking Easter eggs. Surely they want to shift some boxes of chocolate hearts for Valentine's Day first? Now everyone is going to start eating Cadbury's creme eggs and it's going to drive me crazy watching them do it wrong. Don't bite the narrow end off - bite the wider end first and then you can get your tongue in more easily!

[Paul]

My local stores have Valentine's stuff in stock, I'm surprised that some places would stock Easter items this early! Madness!

At this rate I can't wait for Halloween!

[Caspin]

Fear not, the chocolate hearts and overpriced roses have now appeared alongside the chocolate eggs. Must be very hard work for those who like to commence pointless diets in January to get around the supermarket without accidentally buying a chocolate something or other!

[Paul]

I guess this is why many New Years Resolutions don't work out (hehe) when it comes to losing weight! Haha.

[Minty]

My resolution was not to artex any hippopotami in the new year. It's a tough one, but think I'll make it.

Today we were supposed to get wiped out by the snow. Like everything else up here, it's been delayed by a day. Didn't stop the trains from going into emergency service mode all day. Same last week with the not-so-high winds. Every excuse to cut back on services to maximise profits, & they take it. No wonder they lost the contract.

The last few days seem to have been getting home late, getting ready for the following day & getting ready for bed. The usual January. The local river had so many branches & debris on Saturday from the gales, it looked like beavers had moved in.

I think for this Valentine's Day we should all buy a stack of cards & send them to random people with only the following inside:-

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a surrealist
Cheese on toast.

The mystery of what sort of psycho weirdo would do that will haunt them to their graves, their last dying words of "Cheese on toast" will trend on social media in the years to come & become the new "Rosebud"!