So a man walks into a bar...

[Juliet]

I thought we could use some good jokes around here, so go ahead, share yours. I'll start:
Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

[Majick]

ROFLMAO!!!!

That's a good one. Oh man. *wipes away tears* I knew a similar joke, but cannot recall it word for word, so I won't try, lol. I'll add one later if I can think of any!!!

[Juliet]

[Majick]

Okay, this one is kind of adult oriented, but I edited it to make it a bit more friendly to all


A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in
  and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
 
  He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in
  and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
 
  The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's
  great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
 
  So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have
  a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd
  hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with?
  Drugs? Alcohol?"
 
  The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law
  drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday
  morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on
  my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing
  you know, I'm woohooing her."
 
  The boss says, "You woohoo your sister?"
 
  The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

[Juliet]

(21-03-2008 01:48 AM)Majick link Wrote:A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in
  and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
    He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in
  and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
  The boss says, "You woohoo your sister?"
  The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

HAHAHA That's a good one. I really and truly lol-ed..

[Majick]

I went "Do'h!" when I first heard that one, lol.

[Jessica]

Hahaha. Both of those are really funny. x3
I know this one blonde joke that when I first heard it, I was cracking up. 


A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'
He takes her hand and says,

'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . .. .

'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

[Thoughttheywereskittles]

Colcusion:Dont Eat Dortios

[Little.Miss.Sunshine]

(21-03-2008 01:36 AM)Juliet link Wrote:

Double

[SimDad2004]

ROFLMAO those were 3 wicked jokes (Still ROFLMAO) 
Thanks peeps........