The Truth About Parents

by
Bill Waterson

My Mom and my Dad are not what they seem
Their dull appearance is part of their scheme
I know of their plans, I know their techniques
My parents are outer-space alien freaks!

They landed  on earth in spaceships humungous
Posing as grownups, they walk among us
My parents deny this, but I know the truth
They're here to enslave me and spoil my youth!

Early each morning, as the sun rises
Mom and Dad put on they're earthling disguises
I knew right away their masks wern't legit
Their faces are lined, they sag and don't fit!

The earths gravity makes them sluggish and slow
They say not to run wherever I go
They live by the clock, they're slaves to routines
They work the year 'round, they're almost machines!

They deny that TV and fried food have much worth
They cannot be human, they're not of this earth
I cannot escape their alien gaze
And they're warping my mind with their alien ways!

For sinister plots, this one is a gem
They're bringing me up to turn me into
one of

THEM!