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27-03-2008, 11:43 PM

[move]The Bear and the Rabbit[/move]

Theres the bear and the rabbit, and they both hate each other.
But one day they find a magical lamp, the genie comes out and says...
"Thank you for releasing me, i shall grant you 3 wishe (more)
Theres the bear and the rabbit, and they both hate each other.
But one day they find a magical lamp, the genie comes out and says...
"Thank you for releasing me, i shall grant you 3 wishes each"
The bear goes first...
"I wish all the other bears in my forest were female."
"Done" says the genie
The rabbit thinks for a second and finally says...
"I wish for a helmet" and a helmet appears on his head.
The bear thinks its a waste of a wish, then he says...
"I want the bears in the other forest to be girls too"
The genie does as the bear wishes.
"I wish for a fast motorcycle" wished the rabbit
The bear thinks that was a stupid wish too.
"I wish all the bears in the world were girls"
and it happens
"I wish Mr. Bear was gay" and the rabbit rode off.

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[move]Strangest incident ever.[/move]

There's this guy at a bar, and he sees this really attractive girl walk in.
To his amazement she asks him to join her for a drink.
The guy agrees, and after an hour or so she asks him if he wo (more)
There's this guy at a bar, and he sees this really attractive girl walk in.
To his amazement she asks him to join her for a drink.
The guy agrees, and after an hour or so she asks him if he would like to go to her apartment.
He said, "sure lets go."
When they get there the guy has the greatest s3x he's ever had.
When their done he pulls out a cigarette and asks her for a lighter.
She replies, "I think theres a pack of matches in the cupboard."
When he opens it he finds them, AND a picture of a man,
he asks her, "Is that you husband?"
She said, "No you silly goof" as she holds him and rests her head on his shoulder
"Boyfriend?" he asks.
"Hhahahaha no...." she said again nibbling on his ear.
Confused he said, "Well who is it?"
She takes the matches, strikes it and lights it off her cheek and says, "Thats me before the operation."

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[move]Weird horse joke.[/move]

So there's this bartender and he has a horse. The horse always looks really sad and stuff.
So he wants to get it to laugh but he doesn't know how, so he starts offering people $500 to make his h (more)
So there's this bartender and he has a horse. The horse always looks really sad and stuff.
So he wants to get it to laugh but he doesn't know how, so he starts offering people $500 to make his horse laugh, but no one can.
But finally some guy does it, and the horse is laughing really really hard.
The bartender says, "Wow! How did you do that?"
The guy replies, "I told him my penis is bigger than his."
The bartender giggles a bit and he himself thinks its funny.
So now a week later the horse is still laughing as hard as it was before
and this is really starting to annoy the bartender.
So he calls the same guy and offers him $500 again to make it cry.
So the guy sees the horse in the stable
and when he comes out the horse is crying harder than it ever has before.
The bartender is amazed and asks him, "Ok, how did you do it this time?"
The guy said ,"Well you remember last week how I told him that my penis is bigger?"
"Yeah" the bartender replied.
And the guy said, "Well i just proved it."

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[move]Stayin' Alive[/move]

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."

So the co
(more)
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."

So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.

When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren

...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.