The Official Nonsense Thread

[Minty]

Hearts got their real result before kick off. IT multi-millionaire Ann Budge has been revealed as the brains behind the whole takeover bid (this is someone business types take very seriously, as she's got a real golden touch when it comes to running a show & in investing), so by the end of March they should be safe.

More interesting is the four clubs above Hearts all lost once again today, whilst this is Hearts fourth game undefeated. Slowly points are being picked up, they're still 16 behind (15 of which were the admin penalty) but if they can keep the momentum going & make a fight of it, the fans will keep coming & finances will improved. It is highly unlikely they will avoid the drop, but a good show will keep everyone positive for next year when we face the evil Orcs in Division 1 (or The Championship as it's now called - wonder where they got that name from, eh!)

Crying shame to see the traditional Chelsea bottle crash taking place!

I wouldn't write off Wigan's cup chances this year. They seem to be getting their act together the same way they did last year to upset the odds - I'd love to know where that ref found five minutes for stoppage time though

Word is not sounding good for Elder Scrolls Online peeps, word is it is buggy & not as much fun as Skyrim. Fine by me, another game to ignore in 2014!

[Caspin]

Ann Budge. That's a good, solid-sounding, no-nonsense sort of name isn't it. I hope she will sort out poor old Hearts.

It was sunny and dry today, a bit Spring-like after all that rain (which will return soon I think). There are crocuses and daffodils coming up in the garden. I went out for lunch with some Spanish and Italian friends, which was a nice way to spend a day off.

Can't believe it's Monday again tomorrow. When all this extra work is done I really need to take some time off. It doesn't help that my idiot neighbour started arguing with whichever boyfriend she had over this weekend (I lose track, there's been that many) at around 1 am and actually woke me up, which is quite a feat once I've dropped off, I can assure you! Plus I've had too many aperitifs, or possibly not enough. Early to bed for me.

[Minty]

For anyone that ever believed the crap the ex-foxhunters say about not hunting foxes anymore as per the law - caught here giving the hunt call of a "kill" made, & well done to the brave hunt "monitor" (the former hunt saboteurs) who saved this fox from certain death & could have been torn to pieces herself in the process.

[Minty]

Boo to Arsenal!

I see our talented deputy prime minister is now talking about going into coalition with Labour after the next general election. That's assuming they have any MPs left considering they've not saved a deposit in a single by election for the last few years!

Disappointed the Jamaicans did poo in the bobsleigh, about the only reason anyone's outside the competitors families will have had for watching it maybe, although there's going to be another spike of interest tomorrow when Vanessa Mae's bum is in the alpine skiing (the only reason anyone cared a crap about her classical music albums - I've never met anyone that has ever heard one, let alone bought one!).

Pretty crappy to think the Jamaicans had to fight with the IOC all the way over 10 years to get into this event even when they qualified fair & square because the sports bosses were afraid they'd make a mockery out of the event, but they've bent the rules to allow her to qualify because she's a stinking rich celeb, even though they've admitted she's likely to finish 20 seconds behind the leaders.

20 seconds! She'd be better off getting the Dovakin to stand behind her at the start & thu'um her - she'd reach the finish line quicker.

[Caspin]

My internet connection is dead. Here I am trying to use 3G on a non-smart phone. It's hopeless. Back soon I hope!

[Minty]

Blackadder the 3rd has the "Scottish Play" episode on!

Ahmed was in here yesterday. Didn't stop to say anything though. I suppose there hasn't been all that much for him to talk about, other than a coup d'etat in his backyard, murder, mayhem & the biggest moments in Egyptian history since the Suez crisis.

Maybe I ought to stick Cassie's mugshot as my avatar, change my name to HeyCassiesBack, & sit back as the place is overrun with lurking past members blibbering on about every remote facet of their lives since 2010, what they can't be bothered to do when it's "only us" posting.

It would be no more dishonest than those muppets on the official forum buying members by having Simpoint giveaways but you can only be in their draw if you join their forum!

Anne Diamond on Channel 5 - I'd forgotten what a smug piece of work she was. She makes Jeremy Kyle look like he's got an IQ!

I put off cleaning the garage guttering today, because there were flocks of blue tits & sparrows (SPARROWS! GIANT ONES!) using it for an elongated bird bath & I'd have felt guilty denying them it when it seemed to make them so happy.

[Caspin]

You seem to spend an enormous amount of time cleaning your guttering.

I had to think for a while to remember who Vanessa Mae was. Then I recalled the advert for one of her albums, from yesteryear, which featured her playing an electric violin while standing knee-deep in the sea. So now she is an Olympic athlete? Weird.

My internet at home is truly dead. I hope they can fix it quickly. The last time there were this many problems it was because squirrels had chewed through a cable.

It is fortunate that I can just about receive emails on my non-smart phone, so I didn't have to miss out on Minty's latest round of spam! (I have forwarded it back to you so that you can see what's going out and who it is reaching.)

Edit - my attempt to forward your own spam back to you failed, as it was undeliverable. If you want to see it, I can screenshot it and PM it to you.

[Caspin]

Home internet is still on the blink. Sometimes I have a connection for only about three minutes after restarting the modem thingamajig, other times it stays on for an hour or more. Not the reliable service I'm paying for. The powers that be are looking into it, so I'm sure it will be sorted soon, but if I am quieter than usual for a day or two, that might be why (enjoy the peace while you can get it). The great advantage is that I now cannot work at home, so this weekend I can actually loaf about in a normal weekend style. I will be the loafiest of all the loafery loafers.

I am now well on my way through Series 3 of GOT. It's so good! I am still confusing it with Skyrim somehow - I was babbling on about Riverwood while meaning Riverrun, or whichever way round they go. Anyway, it's very enjoyable.

Tonight I'm off to see some different kings, because you can't have too many it would appear, in the form of King Lear at the NT. It's such a long show - 3.5 hours - so I hope I can stay alert throughout. During the preview performances one of the actors lost his voice, which must have been a real ordeal for him.

[Ollie]

What an unfortunate situation with your Internet, Caspin. Mind if I ask what non-smart phone are you utilising?

Currently it's 1 AM and my dog has decided to jump up on the middle of my bed, leaving me little room to squish around him awkwardly. He's also snoring quite loudly.

[Caspin]

Get down, Milo!

My non-smart phone is some kind of Nokia. I am not sure what type. I use it for making phone calls (a novel approach to phones these days, I realise) and it is also a handy alarm clock. You can just about read emails on it, not too bad actually as long as they don't have pictures, and you can see some websites using Opera Mini browser, but it's a painfully slow and arduous experience.

Not to worry, the internerd will be restored in due course I am sure. When the phone line went out they fixed it really quickly and it's the same company so I'm not worried.

Hope you get some sleep, Ollie. Give that dog a shove!