What are you thinking right now?

[Cassie]

Some of my friends, my mum's seen me post here but she doesn't know the website or anything, she'd never bother to look.
Even so, just imaging her finding out is almost funny.
Saying all this stuff though, makes me really notice how much of a b!tch my mum can be, yet I let her do it. I'm usually the one giving into her, she makes me feel guilty for being mad at her because she brings up the whole 'I was a single mum, I had no help from anyone, no money and I did my best' and then I just feel horrible, horrible, because I know she had it tough. Before I was born all she did was party, then she just had to drop everything. So yeah. She wins everytime.

The worst thing is, I know she doesn't even care if I left. One time I pretended to run away after an argument, when really I was hiding in my cupboard with a torch and a book [LOL, no laughing, it was uncomfortable]. She didn't know I was there, she just started cursing about my running off. Then when I revealed that I hadn't run away, she decided to rip my new clothes up that I'd just bought a day or two before. Proper manic shouting while she did it. That sort of scared me to death. I had expected a sigh of relief, glad I'd not ran off in the night, but nah. I still love her though. She's not perfect, she has some silly ideas, but I still think she's great, even if she does make me want to kill myself sometimes.

I'm talking way too much about myself, LOL, I'm sorry. I should just write a biography. {rolleyes}

Carry on.