Happy New Year!!!!!!

[Minty]

This year I brought in the bells on my own as everyone else was feeling sick and went to bed early, which was good - until my drunken cousins all started calling to slur a happy new year, including my annoying older cousin that must have told everyone at least six million times he was skiing in France for Christmas (hope an Ice Troll eats him) with his plastic wife and their cloned plastic children

"How come you answered the phone?"
"I'm the only one up, everyone else is in bed ill."
"Are you sure they're all in bed ill?"
"Well if you hold on a moment I'll check."
"You think one of them might be up?"
"No, I was just going to check their pulses as one of them may now be dead by now, never know your luck."
"Eh?"
"Hello... sorry you're breaking up...." ###CLICK!###