The Official Nonsense Thread

[simspeaker4]

I've never played any of the GTA games - I am trying to get through Saints Row 2 but I'm getting frustrated. I have a hard time with motorcycles.

[Minty]

Sorry about the enforced absence. Work & family nonsense put me through a period of getting up, going to work, coming home, getting ready for the next day & going to sleep.

I also lost my internet connection for a couple of days (as did the rest of the street), which didn't help!

The general election: I sat up until 3am last Friday barely able to believe what was going on. When the first Scottish result came in & Kilmarnock had given the SNP over 30 000 votes (a new record), followed by the Paisley & Inverclyde seats falling with 30%+ swings in the vote, I knew Westminster's greatest nightmare was coming true. All but three seats in the hands of the SNP. Tory majority or not, if they think they're going to spend another 5 years doing what they like, they're in for a rude awakening.

[simspeaker4]

Do you foresee another referendum, Minty? I'm not familiar with the SNP but if they're anything like the Parti Quebecois here in Canada, they'll start talking separation as soon as they can. And Caspin (and Ollie?) what about you? Do you think another referendum's coming?

[Wandarine]

Well I'm not British but didn't the government say that there will definitely be no 2nd referendum?

Speaking of British politics, wtf is going on about no longer following the human rights act?
I only heard about it online and the internet tends to exaggerate, but seriously, what's going on?

[Caspin]

Welcome back Minty. Hope things are settling down now for you and congratulations on living among sensible voters!

I think that Scotland will hold another referendum. Maybe not for a little while but I reckon it will happen. I hope to see it. I know people who voted 'No' would really like to have voted 'Yes', but didn't get answers to their questions or were scared out of it by the media. I don't think that would happen next time. But I also hope, perhaps selfishly, that the focus for the next few years is on sorting out the UK as a whole. Those of us trapped in England (for now) need our new Scottish MPs to keep an eye on what's going on in Westminster and try to stop them from destroying the NHS and selling everything out from under us. They are the only effective opposition we have.

Yes, Wanda, they want to repeal the Human Rights Act and replace it with "British Rights". Because British people need different rights from other humans? I think it's absurd. Lots of lawyers also think it's mad. The information I've read from various legal experts seems to suggest that the government may not succeed in this (the Scots will stop them!). They want to remove aspects such as privacy rights because they want to snoop on us all (or make more legal the snooping they do anyway).

I am mightily angry about politics right now but so are lots of other people. Even my hairdresser was going nuts about the NHS last night and I nearly lost an ear as he was combing in such fury!

[simspeaker4]

So, does this mean that some of the British don't consider themselves human? I assume that all politicians lack some sort of humanity but for them to go and want to prove it.

[Ollie]

British rights hmm? Sounds odd...

[Minty]

Proof if any further are needed that hipster beardsters are vermin & all need exterminated with extreme prejudice.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/florida-man-mas...ok-1501563

A Florida man has been arrested after running over a mother duck and her 11 ducklings with a lawn mower as a family that had been feeding the birds looked on in horror.

US landscaper Jason Falbo, 24, was charged with nine counts of animal cruelty following the brutal attack on 2 May in Wellington, south Florida.

Boyd Jentzsch, his wife Laura Gontchar and seven-year-old Kai had put food out for the family of Muscovy ducks that lived outside their home.

As the family were happily watching the mother duck and her 11 ducklings peck up food in their backyard, Falbo swerved his riding mower straight over the ducks as the onlookers screamed.

Jentzsche ran outside and confronted Falbo, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.

"We were horrified," said Jentzsch. "I couldn't believe it was happening. It was totally disgusting."

"What are you doing?" he screamed. "These are our friends. These are our babies, we love to feed them!"

In an even more grisly turn of events, the landscaper smiled as he reversed the mower and backed up over the ducklings.

"What are you doing to my ducks?" Kai cried. "Why are you laughing?"

Jentzsche called the police and Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control, but by that time nine ducklings had been killed - seven in the attack and two others that escaped into a lake and drowned.

The mother duck and two of her ducklings survived. Tragically, she returned to the scene of the crime several hours later to search for her lost young.

Falbo is being held at the county jail on $27,000 (£17,000) bail.

The police report noted that the nine baby ducks lost their lives "cruelly and viciously with extreme intent".

I hope someone runs over him with a lawnmower when he gets out.

[Caspin]

That must have been horrific to watch. Looking at the guy, I'm less worried about the beard - he looks completely dead behind the eyes, doesn't he. Poor duckies.

I was reading about that poor guy in Edinburgh whose house went up in flames with his pets stuck inside. That would give me nightmares till the end of my days.

What was everyone's first pet? When I was a kid I had a pet rabbit. He was absolutely humungous (or perhaps that's just how I remember him, because of course I was relatively small). When he died my parents didn't want to upset me, so told me that he'd got too big for us to look after so they'd sent him to live on a farm. This didn't make sense to me at all and for ages I kept worrying that he'd be shot by Elmer Fudd.

Very sunny day here - I think I might go out for a walk. The only problem is that trees will take the opportunity to throw pollen onto me and by the time I get home I will be sneezing my head off. The "gardeners" are here, up to their usual trick of pretending to mow the lawn but actually just strolling around with a strimmer. It's a shame because before they arrived there were dozen and dozens of starlings eating worms and I was quite enjoying listening to their mad chat.

I'm off work next week and am going on some exciting trips. First to see Stonehenge and the environs. Don't fear, I shall take picture for you.

[Wandarine]

Lesson learned: Never give bearded guys lawn mowers

I never had a pet growing up.
[Insert picture of very sad looking mini-Wanda here]
I always wanted a cat, but my mother did not allow it.
Didn't stop the cats from coming to our front yard and wanting to be my pet, though


so I cuddled stray cats until my mother shooed them away.