What are you doing right now?

[Caspin]

Aw, thank you for helping with PUFS. My brain will understand it all eventually, I hope. The Welfare League sounds ..... eccentric!

Right now I'm avoiding getting ready for bed, which is stupid because I'm knackered (I just don't feel like washing up). Must try harder!

[Minty]

Itching from being eaten to death by a gazillion midges in the front & back gardens. Last time I ever attempt to water them at 10 o'clock at night (it is now half eleven & only now is it actually dark), I look like I've got measles!

We also appear to have lots of carder bees (brown bumblebees) in our garden along with the usual black & yellow kind. Between them they've knocked the garden into a jungle in no time.

[Ollie]

Never heard of midges, so at first I thought you misspelt midgets.

[Caspin]

Hahaha - poor Minty, being attacked in the garden by a swarm of midgets! At least their bites are unlikely to be as itchy as those of midges.

NomNomNomNomNom (that's Minty's midges chewing on him). Pesky creatures.

[Minty]

Swearing loudly.

Remember those Juniors I mentioned? They've decided to form their own "National League" suddenly to spite the non-leaguers forming the Lowland League without them (because they refused to join it!). Only in Scotland. Only in BLOODY Scotland! I swear those Social Clubs all those teams have are creches with beer for men that never grew up.

I chickened out of watering the garden today. Front & back carpetted with midges all day long. WTF? Where's all the creatures that eat midges to keep the population in check? Away for their summer holidays?

[Caspin]

No! Don't add more leagues, you crazy Scots! PUFS can't cope with any more adjustments at this time! Is that why they are called "juniors" - because they act like little children and throw a hissy fit over anything they don't like? I think I may give up on the overall structure and return to my individual match-based interest.

Right now I am trying to figure out where they have hidden the brightness controls on my new work computer. I'm getting snow blindness at the moment!

[Ollie]

Oooooo a new work computer, is it good? Tell us more about this mysterious new 'work' computer.
And carn those darn midgets in Minty's garden.

[Caspin]

I had an ancient, terribly slow computer that could barely function (it's poor little fan would be wheezing and whining all the time) and it had reached the point where I couldn't actually run the software I need to do my job. So this week they bought me a Dell Optiplex 9010 All-in-one. It is a PC but looks (and acts) like a fake, substandard iMac. It is much faster than the old one though (anything would be) and now I have Windows 7 and modern web browsers, so I am happy about that. I am having terrible problems with the screen, though. It arrived set at maximum brightness and it took me ages to find the brightness controls (they had hidden them from me) so I've fixed that now. I'm mildly photophobic so just being under office lights all day is bad enough, I don't need an ultra-bright screen as well. What I cannot fix currently is making the text on screen look sharp. There is a thing you can do called ClearType, which is supposed to make everything really sharp, but having run it several times I don't seem to have achieved much. I'm going to have to fix this problem soon because it's giving me sore eyes and a headache.

[Caspin]

Hitting a flake with a mallet so I can sprinkle it on ice-cream.

[For Ollie: mallet - from an old French word 'maillet', meaning small wooden hammer or door knocker]

[Minty]

You do realise most of the flake will go everywhere?

Anyway, a Flake should be allow to stand intact, tall & proud in an ice cream. It's a Great British tradition of summer.

Right, I'm off to get some more Mayhem Hall done!