The Official Nonsense Thread

[Caspin]

The Australians are doing well at the Games, with their swimming skills and so on.

Minty's email has now arrived. It looks better with words.

[Minty]

Usain Bolt's not impressed with the Commonwealth games it seems:-

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/ju...games-2014

The Olympic champion Usain Bolt has remarked that the Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games are “a bit poo”, according to reports.

Bolt was apparently waiting in the rain for his car to arrive after briefly leaving the athletes’ village when he made the passing remark. Asked if he was having fun in Scotland he is reported by the Times to have responded, “not really”.

Brings a new meaning to the phrase "Bolt Ya Radge!"

[Minty]

The local foxes decided to have themselves a little party last night in the front garden - digging a big hole in the lawn & a big bush up completely.

Not happy.

Tonight's wildlife experiment, not sponsored by Bill Goodie, Cwis Packham or Michaela Steaky Bacon, is to find out how fast a fox sprints when a rapping sound causes it to look up at the dark window of a house where it thought all the residents had gone to bed & sees my torchlit face doing my best attempt at impersonating the subliminal shot from The Exorcist.

[Caspin]

I do sincerely hope that your rapping on the windows causes many of your neighbours to also look across to your window. Why should your spooky face be wasted on the foxes!

Do you recall the local fox here that I called Henry? I always name them after kings. Henry was the one with the large amount of mange on his bum. Alas, he has been squished flat in the road. He must have been mad itchy so perhaps he sat down in front of the bus to have a scratch! RIP Henry.

This morning I replaced the dead lavender in the garden with brand spanking new lavender. It smells lovely. I will try to be more vigilant in my watering. I was looking at the passion flowers on the back wall. They look so amazing! I was also looking at all the pruning that needs to be done. I think I'm just going to have to accept that I'll have to do it myself, as the gardeners are neither willing nor competent. I like pottering about in the garden so I won't really mind.

I've been watching 'The Honorable Woman' on the telly. Quite topical given the state of Israel v Gaza at the moment. There's something odd about the programme, though. I kind of enjoy it but also don't. I can't quite put my finger on why.

Also been having a go at driving around in GTA5. My driving style in GTA is similar to my driving style in real life (which is why I don't have a licence!). I can't stop marvelling at how detailed they've made Los Santos. It's a marvel for so large a map. The vegetation and the water are so realistic.

[Ollie]

Thank-you for the birthday congratulations!

Speaking of dangerous driving, as soon as I read this damn booklet and do an online test, I should be able to book my L's and if all goes to plan, I'll be on the road in no time.

Lately, I've downloaded and am playing The Sims 2 UC. Oh how I love it and miss it, haven't played it since I gave it away to my cousin years ago, it's one of the games that defined my childhood, yes I played other games on my Playstation 1 and/or GameCube, but The Sims 2 just had something about it.
I must say Origin have been becoming better as of late, they have offered PVZ free and now I think Peggle, and of course for the past week or so, you could get The Sims 2 UC.

[Minty]

I'm not usually one for those ghost videos done in the dark, but have to admit this one made me go WTF?

Three ghostly children watching the ghost hunters looking for them!

Pantomime season has started early - look out, they're behind you!

[Minty]

I think theatres across the UK ought to be thinking about banning Caspin from their premises.

First the Shakespeare theatre problems, & now look what happened to Monkey Mush?

Billie Piper in collision with 16 year old cyclist

who was taken to hospital with serious injuries following a collision with the actress.

Miss Piper, 31, was attempting a U-turn on a steep road behind King's Cross station in London when the cyclist slammed into her car at high speed.

The collision left the actress so traumatised that she was forced to pull out of her performance in West End play Great Britain just 15 minutes before it began.

Scotland Yard confirmed an investigation is continuing into the incident, which happened just before 4pm on Tuesday.

It is understood the bike was travelling downhill at significant speed when it slammed into the back of Miss Piper's car, throwing the boy to the ground.

[Caspin]

Are you saying that I leave a trail of destruction in my wake? Outrageous.

You missed one anyway. Don't forget that theatre roof collapsing after I'd seen 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime'. Gosh. Maybe it is true. I am a jinx. How exciting!

Well I hope that The Globe doesn't ban me because I'm meant to be going back there tomorrow to see 'Antony and Cleopatra'.




I will try to behave well and not cause fainting fits/traffic collisions/structural damage to the building.

[Minty]

I checked the BBC news and no reports of disasters I noted.

Had an interview today & one to come on Friday. Sorry about the silence but had to prepare. I was also watching the TV debate on independence last night between Alex "Soapy" Salmond & Alistair "Sick Boy" Darling, & feel like sueing for those lost hours of my life.

Ended up flicking between it & the footie it got so bad, right on time to see the obligatory "Rangers aren't doing well, referee gives them a penalty/sends off a key opposition player" moment. After all which happened two years back, Scottish football is still bent as a cork.

As to the Gaza business, I feel for the kids, but what chance do they have with such lunatic parents? There was a news report with some 5 yr old in hospital & while he's lying there dazed with lots of tubes sticking out of him, his mother was ranting to the camera it didn't matter how many of her children they killed because she would have even more & bring them up to fight the Zionist oppressors. Like wtf?

There was another guy all smiles as he showed a reporter around his now alfresco flat minus two outside walls, coming out with the same crap. What did he had to smile about? That the Israelis were getting bad publicity from all this? Did it ever enter his tiny mind that they've got to the stage they no longer care less what the rest of the world thinks?

I found whatever sympathy I had a touch compromised, to say nothing of the apparantly flat broke Palestinians still having the money somehow to buy rockets to fire at Israel without warning from the back of pick up trucks for laughs - which is what started the current fistfight in the first place.

It's ironic that last year I chucked out 2 members who had been claiming on an outside blog site that I was anti-semitic (neither of whom are welcome back & can expect a punch in the face if I ever meet them in person - yes I AM still that angry about it), since I'm someone that's always backed Israel's right to exist primarily out of having little illusions that too many of their neighbours would happily slaughter every Jew in as painful a manner as possible given the half-chance, & at least a Jewish state of some kind makes anti-Semites out there think twice after over 2000 years of Jews getting treated like crap simply because they were so easy to bully.

You really would think they'd all have got tired of it by now. A fifth of Israel's population is Arabic, & if they can live & work together with Jews, why can't others? It's too small an area of the world to hold so much hate between people that ultimately are all Arabs anyway, no matter what god they follow.

[Minty]

For the benefit of anyone reading, we are heading into "Supermoon Sunday" where the moon will reach its fullest phase and will appear 14% closer and 30% brighter. So if you look into the sky tomorrow night, don't freak & think it's coming crashing into earth.