I am the very model of a modern Major-General

[Minty]

In Battlefield 2 that is!




Secret of my success?




Become the commander, so when you win you get double points.

Go to the enemy base in Dragon Valley & drive round & round the dead tree. If you have speech enabled, mutter something like "Hecate, hecate, hecate", "Quirkafleeg, quirkafleeg, quirkafleeg" or "Huffity puffity ringstone round" repeatedly (the first two in a deep dark doing scary occult ritual voice, the other like you're a five year old girl or Bjork).




All enemy players will either be

1. run over when they spawn.

2. will think it is some sort of a trick or a glitch you are exploiting & waste time & bullets or rockets trying to shoot you (giving your team mates a clear run at all the flags)

3. be convinced you are summoning dark forces over the internet that will come down the server & kill them as they sit at their computers, causing them to run out of the room screaming.

WIN!

Finally, to get the last point required for promotion.




Drive at enemy plane in your trusty buggy at high speed, whilst screaming "Aiiiiiiiie! For the Emperor! F**k you whaaaaaale! And f**k you dolphiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!" in a very bad Japanese accent.




Sit at base until end of round having cup of well earned tea for your labours in smugily smugness.

Moral: if you can't shoot in online games for crap, try confusing the crap out of them to even the odds.

[Caspin]

*Salutes Major Minty*

Shooting - not my forte. Confusing people - seems to happen with no effort on my part