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02-03-2013, 03:34 PM (This post was last modified: 11-05-2015 03:18 AM by Fraroc.)
Post: #1
I've written many other chapters of Fury, but for now, I think it's best If I showed you the first three chapters of Furyfirst to introduce the main characters of the story.

Chapter One

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It was a cold, grey morning in a suburban area known as Crystal Falls, Colorado, a nice little community, a few neighborhoods, a town square with a rather large shopping district, vast rural stretches of land, a little bit of everything in one town......A rather nice place to live.

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The truck was travelling at approximately 55mph on a long, windy road....the driver’s destination was not far. The truck had a design painted on the trailer and the hood bearing the words “Crystal Falls Animal Rescue: Equine Division” From the dashboard, he can hear quiet thumping sounds and the very faint neigh of a horse. The driver was not given many details about the animal he is transporting, he just views it as another paycheck, his way of putting bread on the table.

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The trailer arrives at the place, Six Gable Stables. A medium-sized horse farm on the outskirts of the town of Crystal Falls. Almost immediately, two stable hands unlock the hatch of the horse trailer and take the animal out.

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“Looks like the rescued horse is here, can you tell me anything about him?” a voice said. It came from a man that is decked out in worn-out denim jeans, work boots and a plaid jacket. A tall man at six foot one, his face has rugged and arguably handsome features, a beard that covers his face, but not long and unmanageable, his eyes were a crystalline sea green color. His name is Jack Silver, but everyone that knows him just calls him by his first name.

“His name was Tornado, sir. He’s a nine year old Arabian stallion with a bay coat. The poor boy’s been so badly abused that every single attempt to rehabilitate him has failed. We’ve heard about how you and your stable hands are able to work with dangerous horses, and we trust you, but I feel I must warn you. If you don’t break him within 10 days, the Animal Police are contracted to seize and put him down. It’s a damn shame though....he’s such a gorgeous animal.”

The animal rescue worker said in a regretful tone...Jack was confused, he’s worked with dangerous horses for many years and there has never been such a short window of time to break a horse.

“Only 10 days, Why such a short timeframe?”

Jake asked and the answer that the animal control worker said sent a horrible shiver down his spine and for some reason awoke nameless fear in his heart.

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“Because sir.....that stallion killed his last owner.”

After he said that, a feeling of dread had encompassed both of the men, the worker continued.

“His last owner, a rancher and horse trainer, was always very tough on his horses, quite abusive actually. Tornado was always a troublesome creature, completely resistant to any method of training and one day, this man had begun to beat the horse into submission with a bullwhip.... after a huge commotion, the stable hands that worked in his stable found him in the horse's stall in a pool of his own blood. His neck snapped at the base of the cervical vertebrae, and hoof shaped bruises covering his body.”

" GOD." Jack exclaimed.

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One of the stable hands leads the horse away from the trailer, the animal shows resistance, but the stable hand is persistent. Suddenly, without any notion of a warning, the blazing guitar riff of the song ‘Thunderstruck’ as made famous by the Australian band AC/DC suddenly blasts as Jake’s cell phone rang. The stallion, as a result goes into a frenzy and rears on his hind legs and bucks wildly. Jack's stable hands scramble to keep the horse under control.

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SH*T!!” Jack curses, It’s his son on the phone. “Listen Joe, I'm kind of busy right now and I can’t talk! Call me back later, ok? Bye! Julian, Get the horse into quarentine!” Jack barked to one of the stable hands.

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The young stable hand known as Julian, already shaken up by how violently the horse reacted to Jack’s cell phone going off takes the horse to a quarantine pen for horses to be rehabilitated. He moves slowly, breathing at a constant, calm rhythm to avoid spooking the stallion and eventually leads him into the concrete and steel pen.

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The bay stallion enters the pen with no issues whatsoever....But right before Julia walks out to lock the gate and go on with his day, he accidentally knocks over a metal shovel on his way out, which switches on an old stereo system that Jack used to own before he got his iPod. Suddenly, “Yankee Rose” by David Lee Roth blares over the stereo system, spooking the stallion. The horse suddenly lets out a terrifying, almost demonic neigh so loud that it could possibly be heard for miles. The horse looks at Julian with his piercing black eyes, filled with pure hate and malice...

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While the music is still blasting, the horse suddenly overpowers the young stablehand, rears up and kicks him directly in the chest.

“Hey! Easy! EASY BOY!!!” Julian screamed, but it was no help.

The horse violently slams Julian down to the ground, rearing up and stomping the stable hand nearly to death, horrifyingly akin to an episode of Bonanza named “A Matter Of Circumstance” where a spooked horse maims Little Joe. The same thing was happening in real life, right here, right now. Julian attempted to get up and escape the pen, but as soon as the stallion saw him, the horse let out another loud, dangerous, demonic neigh. The horse reared up and CRACK! Julian's wrist snapped as if his bones were twigs.

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Jack rushed over, as fast as his strong legs can carry him to the containment pen as soon as he witnessed the horrifying scene.


Jake yelled at the horse...Risking life and limb, Jack unlocks the gate, grabs the injured stablehand and pulls him out of the pen. Before the stallion could escape, Jack locked the gate as fast as he could.

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“Ugh.....God......I-I’m fine...I think he broke my wrist though...OWW GOD!!! Yeah.. he definitely broke it.” Julian said as he rose to his feet.

“I’ll take a look at it. But for the time being, I want you and the three girls to stay the hell away from that stallion. I know you want to help, but it’s for your own protection.”

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While Julian walked into Jake’s office, Jake turned around and looked at the horse inside the containment pen and watched as the beautiful bay stallion rears up wildly and gallops around the pen’s perimeter in circles.

“This is going to be a challenge.....”

Chapter Two

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The sound of iron weights colliding made a rhythmic and extremely noticable clanging sound. The sound of someone grunting and cursing under their breath could be heard throughout the entire gym. The high-tech bench press machine was set to 120lbs.....It was rather obvious that a very strong, athletic person was using the machine to exercise.

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“Urrrgghhhh....Come f***er.” The muscular young man cursed under his breath. Recently, the young man had been trying to adjust his workouts in order to keep his physique, which is usually the only thing going for him....

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Michael Schaefer is his name, but everyone that has the experience of knowing him simply calls him “Mike”. He’s about five foot eleven, athletic and muscular...Hiss outfit consisted of baggy blue sweatpants and a tight black wife-beater. Facially, Mike is the epitome of Australia-handsome with his rugged looks, chiseled jaw line, short brown hair, lots of facial stubble with a chin-strap beard. In terms of looks and physique, Michael is an absolutely stunning man. But his personality was a whole another story.

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Michael used to be a middleweight Mixed Martial Arts fighter under the ring name “The Lone Wolf.” His ring name was inspired by his brooding, sullen nature and the fact that he looks like a stereotypical “modern werewolf”; usually a handsome, muscular man that can transform into a timber wolf in which girls often fantasized about. He was known for his swift and brutal knockouts, almost too brutal. His tenure with professional MMA ended as soon as it began. The reason, he was caught one day injecting himself with performance enhancing drugs.

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Mike then went on the treadmill to do his usual 30 minute run for the cardio part of his workout. Not only does he do it to reach his optimal heart rate and to burn calories. He felt as if cardio was the only thing that can take his mind off of things.... Reminiscing about his days as an MMA fighter and the steroid debacle always gets him angry, but suddenly another thought entered his mind....about how through his impulsiveness and stupidity, he lost someone he loved....

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“But Genevra!”
“Oh don’t give me that ‘But Genevra’ B.S. That’s it. Were DONE! I NEVER, EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN! I”M UNFRIENDING AND BLOCKING YOU FROM FACEBOOK, I’M UNFOLLOWING YOU ON TWITTER AND ERASING YOU FROM EVERY SINGLE ADRESS BOOK I OWN!!!! WAY TO THROW 2 ½ YEARS OUT THE WINDOW, YOU LECHEROUS JERK!!!!! I can't BELIEVE I wasted almost three years with you! Hoping that somewhere under that douchey, arrogant exterior there was some sort of...humanity in there! I guess I was wrong!”

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Genevra.....” Mike grunted to himself in anger.

Realizing the reason why she left was because of his stupidity and arrogance, he got off the treadmill.... still angry and stressed-out....

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He exited the gym without even changing out of his gym clothes. He then mounted his iron horse, and rode off into the sunset..... A modern day cowboy.

The Lone Wolf is now on the prowl.

Chapter Three

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It was two days after the Arabian stallion came to the stables. On the second day, Jack decided it would be best if he began the process of attempting to tame the dangerous horse. The beast snorted, neighed and galloped around the pasture, all in an attempt to escape from his adversary, his nemesis. A human named Jack Silver who's intention was rather benevolent. All Jack wanted to do is save him from getting put down....

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“I heard that it took Jack like, three hours to get the tack on him.” The dark skinned, dark haired beautiful young woman told her friend.

THREE hours? Jesus!” The blonde haired woman replied. The strawberry-blonde haired girl kept her eyes on Jack...

Their names are Jennifer Bettencourt, Karilla Johnson, and Marissa Markham. Everybody calls them “the sisters” because they’re so close to each other, like sisters. They’ve been riding at the stables since they were in High School. They’re attending college with the exception of Karilla who just graduated a month ago.

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“He’s one of the most beautiful horses I have ever seen.....why the hell would someone abuse him like that?!” Karilla shouted in accusation to the unknown former owner of the stallion as the wild horse galloped wildly around Jack who is trying his absolute hardest to calm him down.

“I don’t know, Karilla...” Jennifer told her in a comforting tone.

Karilla thought to herself, “That stallion is acting the same way Raven did before Jack broke her. Now she is the most loyal, friendly and trusting horse I have ever ridden.”

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“Julian is getting his cast removed today. That’s why he’s not here.”

“Oh...that’s good” Marissa said sheepishly, trying her hardest not to blush.

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“HEY!! EASY!!! EASY THERE, BOY!!!” Jack's booming voice screamed...

Jack had tried to leap on the stallion’s back in order to ride him, but his plan failed when the horse retaliated and threw him right off his back with a loud thud. A loud groan in pain, akin to a lion’s roar came from Jack.

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“Oh my God...oh my god he's gonna trample him to death...RUN, JACK RUN!!!”

Karilla screamed after the horse looked at him with intentions of attacking him after throwing him off his back. He raced out of the paddock and locked the gate.

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“Oh my God! Jack are you ok?!” Jennifer asked with utmost concern in her voice.

“I think my back is a little bruised, but I’ll live.” Jack replied.

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Karilla had walked away in sadness, Jennifer followed her.

“Sweetie? Why are you upset?” She asked her best friend.

“It’s just....I wish I could help him somehow...He’s such a healthy animal I don’t want him to be euthanized!!” said Karilla.

Ever since she was a little girl, Karilla loved horses and she was always much more horse crazy than Jennifer or Marissa.

“Karilla...I know that this is going to make me sound like a total heartless bitch, but....something tells me that it would be for the better if he was put down.” Karilla was shocked that her best friend would say such a callous statement.

“What?! WHY?!”

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“Karilla! LOOK! That horse is VICIOUS!!! He almost killed Julian, and now he almost killed Jack! And Jack is one of the best horsemen I have ever seen!” Jennifer said as the horse reared up wildly.

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“I’m sorry....but I've read about how abuse can cause serious mental trauma with horses, sometimes they never get over it and can never be tamed...Something tells me that the stallion is too far gone to be saved. I know that you were always very close to horses, but I think its best to let go.” Karilla looked at Jennifer with sadness.

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Karilla looked up and sighed.....

“I’m going to tack up Raven and go on a short trail ride with her. I just....I need to be with her right now.” Karilla said as she walked to the stable.

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“Hello, were waiting for me weren't you?”

Karilla said in a sing-song voice as she pet Raven, her 9 year old Andulasian buckskin mare. Just like the Arabian stallion, Raven was nearly as wild and dangerous and Jack’s horse breaking talents had successfully tamed her. Karilla’s family bought Raven from him but she still stays at the stable with Jack’s other horses.

“Come on, girlfriend, lets go for a ride...”

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As Karilla rode Raven down the trail, she thought to herself.....

“God Karilla, you’re 18 years old and still obsessed with horses.

Keep going at this pace and you’ll never have a boyfriend!”

I hope that you like the first three chapters of Fury. Comment if you do Smile
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02-03-2013, 07:23 PM
Post: #2
RE: Fury
Hi there, I enjoyed reading the first three parts of your story this afternoon - do slap up a few more chapters.

I'll read them in silence, so as not to frighten the horses!
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02-03-2013, 11:11 PM
Post: #3
RE: Fury
Doesn't this website have enough problems with troublesome horses Tongue

I used to watch "Heartland" (stop laughing!) so this appeals to me.

The horse went mental probably because it never forgave Dave Lee Roth for splitting up Van Halen to go solo! Play it "Big Bad Billy's Sweet William Now" & it'll calm down.

Egyptiandance Wacko Fryingpan

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03-03-2013, 03:58 AM (This post was last modified: 03-03-2013 03:59 AM by Ollie.)
Post: #4
RE: Fury
Great story so far, I can't wait for more of that deviant horse! Smile

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03-03-2013, 09:12 AM
Post: #5
RE: Fury
I wonder....

I saw an episode of QI in which Steven Fry was stroking the back of a lobster and then the lobster was sort of hypnotised and became totally still. Also I think you can do the same with rabbits to calm them down (I wish I had known this when I had a rabbit). And you can immobilise chickens using some similar trick where you stroke their beak (although you have to get hold of the chicken first) and then they become quiet. Does it work with horses - or are they so big that nobody has found the right spot to tickle yet?

More story please!
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03-03-2013, 09:36 AM
Post: #6
RE: Fury
I wonder if you can do that to dogs.

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03-03-2013, 09:40 AM
Post: #7
RE: Fury
Rub their belly?!

[That works on some people too!]
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03-03-2013, 05:10 PM (This post was last modified: 11-05-2015 03:51 AM by Fraroc.)
Post: #8
RE: Fury
Thank you so much for the comments! By the way Misty, I loved the Van Halen comment because they're one of my favorite bands \m/ And I took a lot of inspiration from Heartland, The Saddle Club, and even the Lord of the Rings Trilogy!

Chapter Four, Part One

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He woke up groaning...

“Good God....what happened last night?”

His eyes burned like two marbles of molten magma were in his eyes. His nasal passages burned like he just inhaled a flame.

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He sat up and was horrified to realize that the clothes he was wearing were all orange...

"Hold up, I didn't wear orange last night!!” He said as he looked around the perimeter. Stone floor, stone walls, and the bars made it an instant giveaway.

Michael Schaefer was incarcerated in Crystal Falls Penitentiary.

He had no idea why he woke up in jail. He seemed to been suffering from complete amnesia of the past nigh...he simply couldn't remember what he did last night. He could remember the farthest childhood memories of playing football with his dad or making cupcakes with his mom, he could remember his first day of preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school. He could remember when he lost his virginity.

He couldn't remember the past 24 hours of his life.

Michael felt disgusting, both of his eyes and his nose felt as if they were on fire and his breath had a peppery aftertaste...

"Holy Sh*t.....OC Spray? Oh God...what did I do last night? Did I break into a store? Did I steal something extremley valuable? Did I .....KILL someone?"

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Mike looked up in fear as a sullen police officer glared down at him in a silent rage.
Before Mike could even say a single word, the cop spoke...

“Do you really want to know what you did last night?” Mike's throat hurt so much that he couldn't speak a single word, he just nodded.

By now, Mike was confused, sad and angry. Why was he incarcerated? Why couldn't he remember anything? What could he have possibly done?

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Minutes later, the police officer walked down the prison hallway to Mike’s cell with his rap sheet.

“Michael Alexander Schaefer, you are hereby charged with battery and assault of a teenager at Crystal Falls City Place. Eyewitness reports from your friends and pedestrians on the street at the time tell us that you allegedly thought the teenager was quote “starting sh*t with you” so you called him an anti-gay slur and the next thing they saw was you punching him in the stomach and slamming him against a brick wall."

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It was as if someone had hit him upside the head with a shovel. Mike didn’t know how to feel at that moment. He suddenly remembered what exactly happened that night...He beat up a kid without any provocation or reason....For the first time, he felt regret....genuine regret for his actions.....A tear flowed from his eye with the realization that with so many years of MMA experience, he easily could have dealt the teenager serious harm.

"The kid wasn't doing anything to you and your friends. He was simply walking down the steet, minding his own business and you beat the sh*t out of him for no reason. I really hope you're proud of yourself."
“ OK now?”

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“Judging on the fact that I know damn well you only feel bad because you got caught, I HIGHLY DOUBT YOU WANT THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION!!!!!!” The cop screamed. He took a deep breath and gave Mike a calm but blatant warning.

“You better pray that the family of that poor kid will be nice enough to drop the charges, or else you are going to be in here for a VERY long time. Assault carries a hefty charge in Crystal Falls.”

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Eventually, everything got all sorted out in an out-of-court settlement. The exact words of the mother of the boy were as followed...

"I am going to drop the charges against you. I do not believe you truly are an evil person and I can tell you feel genuine regret for your actions. However, there is ONE condition. You must stop being a goddamn bum on the street! I suggest that you get a job and clean up your actAND FAST"

It seemed like an easy task for Mike, however there were a few issues...Due to the fluctuating economy, almost NO ONE in Crystal Falls was hiring, and the fact that Mike now had a rap sheet didn't help his case either.

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Then....he found the answer on a billboard near a train terminal. It was an advertisement for a place called Six Gable Stables, a horse farm on the outskirts of town. The ad itself consisted of offers for riding lessons, rehab for problem horses and not only that, they were also in need of new stable hands and was advertised to be an equal-opportunity employer.

Mike had never told this to any one of his friends, but he had always admired horses. He always thought they were beautiful, graceful, and intelligent creatures on the planet. When people discuss what the strongest animal is in terms of wit, intelligence, and brute strength. He thinks of not a tiger or a lion, but of a mighty stallion....None of his current friends also know that he had previous experiences on the back of a horse already, thanks to one of the many girlfriends he had over the years...

The only way for Mike to redeem himself was to become a cowboy.
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03-03-2013, 06:56 PM
Post: #9
RE: Fury
Very good! I really like the way you used a black and white picture to represent Mike's memory of the assault. Looking forward to seeing what happens next.
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03-03-2013, 09:41 PM
Post: #10
RE: Fury
Awesome, I wonder how Michael will go with those horses.

[Image: od8QQA8.png]

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