The Official Nonsense Thread

[Tasia714]

I hope it is okay to post a few jokes here.. If not please direct me in the proper direction.










A wife walked into her kitchen one day to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.


"What are you doing?" she asked him.


"Hunting flies," he responded.


"Oh, killing any?" she asked.


"Yep, three males and two females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked "How can you tell them apart?"


He responded, "Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone."


Here are few more from my archives.


1.) I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

2.) A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

3.) I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

4.) Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

5.) My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

6.) Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

7.) Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and be quiet.

8.) Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. giggle

9.) Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?



And my favorite.


10.) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


Hope you got at least a grin ..smile..

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(23-09-2013 02:32 PM)Minty Wrote:  Here's the wee man giving it laldy!





This report didn't really do him justice. He may have been nervous because he was getting filmed. Usually he's got a mass crowd & totally unfazed by it.

Andrew Wilson? The cunning stunt that ignored the FIFA Manager fans for years over shine Future expecting us to pay for the same game with a few cosmetic changes & stealing from the modders? How inspiring. Promoting from within rather than getting someone from outside with a fresh outlook shows they've not learned from their mistakes.

He is adorable, the girls will love him here in the U.S... Thanks for sharing.

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(14-09-2013 05:14 PM)Minty Wrote:  In Glasgow there's a ten year old kid called Kris McDowall who busks AC/DC numbers & makes about £500 during the school holidays. For his age he's not bad & always gets a big crowd. Today the missionaries from the Mormon church were trying to take advantage of the captive audience to get a hold of people as they stood around watching.

A few people made it clear they were not amused at this: there's an unwritten rule of the street you don't take advantage of someone else's pitch for your own gain - you get your own audience off your own efforts. But Kris spotted what they were doing & immediately switched songs to Highway To Hell then Rock & Roll Damnation, much to the crowd's amusement. The Mormons got the message & moved further up.

That is hilariousness.Smart kid. When the Jehovah Witnesses come around knocking on your door, just answer the door naked and invite them in.. They wont bother you again.. I know from personal experience .