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How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart (Or Asda)
24-12-2009, 01:31 AM
Post: #1
How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart (Or Asda)
I found this on Facebook and thought it was funny xD

1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart.

2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!", etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham.

4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!!"

5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "Hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other person was trying to take your _____.

6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, then jump out and yell nonsense.

8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"

9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"

10. Hide in clothing racks and jump out yelling, "PICK ME!!!"

11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" Then fake an entire nervous breakdown.

12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. *BONUS* Add Barbies as casualties.

13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them.

14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends, screamo style.

15. Randomly place large amounts of candy in peoples' carts.

16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

17. Go up to an employee, and in a official tone say "Code three in houseware." See what happens.

18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor.

21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-duel!"

23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation.

24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..."

25. Attempt to drown in an empty kiddy pool.

26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind."

28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song.

29. Be verbose. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?"

30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Then run out of the store screaming.

31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like, "Why is this store called Wal-Mart? You don't sell walls."

32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them.

34. Throw a fake rubber snake into someone's face and watch them freak out.

35. Squeeze someone's legs and sing, "I like to move it, move it".

36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food."

39. TP as much of the store as possible

40. Whenever you hear a voice on the intercom, fall to the ground screaming, "The voices!!" Then get back up and act normal.

41. Dress up in a trench coat, fedora and sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "Use this wisely."

42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke.

43. Walk along, look at someone, giggle to yourself and say (out loud) "I know, I know..." Keep doing it until they give you a weird look.

44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent. Then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department.

46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom.

47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"

48. Over the intercom, say "There is a big sale on all items in the electronics department. The first 10 people to check out get one item free." See what happens.

49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in people’s carts.

50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

51. Run through the store and jump on carts, singing "I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!"

52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night.

53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras.

54. Get a marker and go over all the barcodes with a line, then go purchase your items. The person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand.

55. Go up to some of the customers while carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face.

56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by.

57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store. Begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken.

59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, that's better"

60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt. Point at them and say, "A clue, a clue!"

61. Go to a clerk and tell them you lost your son. Ask if they can call his name over the intercom. When they ask you his name, make up an inappropriate or ridiculous name (ie, Mike Hunt or Ben Dover).

62. Leave cryptic messages on the toy computers.

63. While humming the "Mission: Impossible" and wearing all black, knock over all of the cans in an aisle.

64. Take all the CDs and put them in the wrong place. When an employee puts them back, yell at them and mess them up again.

65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you.

66. Take a friend and a younger child with you. Start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store. Yell "CILLY, COME BACK!!!"

67. Climb up a ladder and do a King Kong thing.

68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!!"

69. Grab a can of whipped cream and find a bald guy. Spray it on his head.

70. Dress up in a fairy costume and climb up a ladder. When people go by say "Your wish is granted!"

71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs. Then yell "ROLLBACK!!!"

72. Walk up to someone. Act like you can read their mind and say, "Sir (or ma'am)... Please don't think that."

73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head. Say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there."

74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman.

75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friend. Then link arms and start to sing the "Friends" theme song.

76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead.

78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away. When someone tries to pick it up, run up to them and yell "Hands off my money!!" Then get a manager and tell them the person stole 20 dollars from you.

79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

80. Try all of the sodas, put them back, then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous."

81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "boobs" upside down.

82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham.

83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle.

85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

86. Swing on the half price banners.

87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask "What?" and walk off like you're annoyed.

88. Burp and say "Mmmm, tasty."

89. Hold Barbie for ransom.

90. Run around with a country music CD and singing Queen's "We Will Rock You".

91. Throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart.

92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!"

93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"

94. Do your own radio show over the intercom.

95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff. Hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father." Make breathing noises in your Darth Vader mask.

96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up.

97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming "EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!"

98. Find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with yourself when everyone is watching you.

99. Go to the checkout and buy one bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices.

100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

There were 335 but it didn't fit Tongue

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24-12-2009, 01:49 AM
Post: #2
Re: How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart (Or Asda)

that is funny! could not stop laughing!
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24-12-2009, 03:14 AM
Post: #3
Re: How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart (Or Asda)
I find the Barbie ones funnny... like set the xmen and transformers up together in a war and use Barbies as the casualties Tongue

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24-12-2009, 08:28 PM
Post: #4
Re: How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart (Or Asda)
ROFL!!! *collapses from laughter*

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